When Geo stared at me, I only saw coldness. Cruelness. Ridicule. He looked at me like I was nothing more than something he could toy with until he got bored. Niko kept his emotions to himself most of the time. But I’d seen them break through since I’d been here. Concern. Guilt. Desire. Niko and Geo might be identical, but I didn’t see them in the same way. They weren’t the same. And I didn’t know how the hell I felt about that.
“No,” I breathed out before speaking more firmly. “No. I don’t see you the same.”
A bit of surprise lit up his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. I turned away from him, back toward the TV, even though my mind was a million miles away. A lump grew in my throat as I thought of Lacey. Niko hadn’t killed her. But his family had. I should hate him. Like I did Alex. And Geo. It felt like I was betraying her. A hand gripped my thigh, and I jerked my head up.
The second we locked eyes, he ripped his hand away. “I thought you were having another panic attack.”
“I’m fine. Do you get panic attacks?”
He raised an eyebrow. “No.”
“Then how did you know what would help me?”
I expected him to say something dirty after he had mentioned me soaking his jeans last time. Instead, he pressed his lips into a thin line as he grew somber.
“The women.” He said it carefully, as if he didn’t know what my reaction would be. “Up north. If they were there a while, some would get panic attacks. I researched what to do to help them.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. It was hard not to imagine my mom going through that. Taking a shaky breath, I managed a small smile, deciding I was done with the depressing talk today.
“You know, you’re not the asshole you let everyone think you are,” I stated.
He let out a snort of stunned laughter. “And you’re a lot stronger than everyone thinks.”
“I’m not all talk.” I repeated his words from when I’d given him the paper.
“Don’t go digging around, Sage.” His humor faded. “You won’t find anything. And I can’t keep protecting you without someone catching on.”
Rolling my eyes, I stood from the couch before crossing the living room. I glanced over my shoulder to see his gaze right on my ass. After all the anger, I’d gladly take sexual tension over the silence. At least it made me feel something.
“I didn’t say anything about digging around,” I said as I walked down the hall. “I only said I’m not all talk. And I can take care of myself.”
I couldn’t help but peek back at him, and my stomach flipped at his heated gaze. He was thinking of our past conversation, like I was.
“Test your theory, Sage,” he murmured gruffly.
Without another word, I slipped into my room and leaned against the door. At some point, one of us was going to cross the line, and all these words were going to turn into actions. Making my already complicated life even more twisted.
I didn’t care nearly as much as I should.