Trek

Heidi

Another slap to the face, and my head lolls to the side. So many drugs have been pushed into my system that I can barely see straight. Everything hurts, and everything’s a blur. There’s a constant haze over my vision that I can’t see to get rid of no matter how hard I try.

“Keep your eyes open,” the man growls as he thrusts into me. I gag on my vomit and try to swallow it down. I know what will happen if I throw up again. I’ll be beaten, or worse, they might kill me. Though, that doesn’t seem so bad right now.

I pry my eyes open and stare at the man on top of me as he fucks me without my permission. This is what my life has become. I’ve been sold, traded, raped, and beaten. You name it, I’ve had it done to me. I can’t say that I remember the last time I was free. Free to wander, free to be me. Free from this shit in my life.

“Oh yeah,” he groans as he thrusts again. I’m so messed up right now that I don’t know which way is up. I want to go home. I want to be with my family, but I can’t, not after what I’ve been turned into. So I stay. I don’t even bother trying to run away anymore. There is no use. I am what I am, and I feel I will always be this. A whore. A body sold to others. Except I don’t get to keep any of the money. No, I’m whored out for them. For the greater good, I’m told. I’m given what I need to live. I’m fed and clothed when needed. For the most part, anyway. We’re barely taken care of, enough to keep us alive and earning money.

The moans and groans seem to go on forever when he finally finishes. He pulls out of me and moves off to the side as I sigh, thanking god it’s over.

“You were great,” the man says as he reaches up and unties my hands.

“Please retie them,” I ask nicely because I know what will happen if Victor comes in and I’m untied. He huffs out a breath but reties them above my head. I give him a small thankful smile as he stands and pulls his clothes back on. He tosses some cash onto the bed before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. It doesn’t take long for Victor to come strolling in. His eyes take me in before he walks up to the bed and unties my arms. Then he picks up the money and counts it.

“You did good.”

“Yeah,” I mumble as I roll onto my side and curl into myself.

“You need anything?”

“No.” I never say yes. I can’t. Even if I did, there’s no chance of getting it. I watch him nod his head and walk over to the door. He takes one last look over his shoulder before he walks out, closing and locking it behind him. I sigh and stay curled into myself.

One day I’ll get out of here. I’ll find a way to get free of these assholes. I have no idea how, but I will.

What I do know is how much I miss my family. I miss my mom. I miss seeing her smile and her telling me things will be okay. I remember when I was little, and things were perfect. We were all happy. My older sister went off to college and didn’t get mixed up in this shit. I’m glad she’s out of here and doesn’t have to see the condition I’m in now. She was always the smarter of the two of us.

I miss Rory. I miss his friendship from when we were kids. It’s so strange the times he comes to mind. It’s odd to think of him at times like this, but I do. I used to follow him around as a kid. I had a huge crush on him even though he was a little older than me. He was gorgeous and tall. Rory had so many friends that I couldn’t compete with them, but one night, one party changed all that. We were both drinking, and things just happened. We had one night, and that night will forever be engrained in my mind. I will never forget the way he was gentle yet slightly rough. The way he held me after and kissed me like I was the last person on earth. And maybe that night I was. Maybe that night was all I needed.

Those are the memories that keep me grounded. Those are the memories I rely on to keep me going day after day. If I let those memories fade, there will be nothing left of me. I will have nothing. Be nothing, and I can’t let that happen.

A soft knock on the door pulls my attention.

“Shower is yours,” Anna says as she opens the door slightly and peeks in. I look over my shoulder and nod at her before standing from the bed. I walk out of the room and down the hall. It doesn’t matter that I’m naked. It doesn’t matter the other girls can see me. This is what’s become of me. It’s how I’ve been treated for as long as I can remember. I’ve grown accustomed to this.

Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and step under the sprayer, not caring that the water has gone cold. I just want to wash away the entire day. My entire adult life.