Trek

Heidi

I’m nervous, and I don’t know why. I’ve chewed my nails down to nothing, and I can’t seem to stop fidgeting. Cheryl said it’s just nerves, but I know Trek’s mom. I played at her house, even spent the night. I shouldn’t be this nervous, should I?

“You’ll relax once you get there,” Cheryl tells me.

“Are you sure? I feel like I’ve never met the woman, and I used to sleep at her house all the time,” I admit to her.

“You’re going to be fine, Heidi. Trek won’t leave your side, and if you feel like you need to go, tell him. He isn’t going to force you to stay.”

“Okay,” I whisper as if that makes all the difference in the world. My insides are trembling, and it’s taking all I have not to bite my nails any further. A soft knock on the door has me standing to my feet. Cheryl walks over and pulls the door open, and I see Trek standing there looking as perfect as ever.

“You ready?” he asks as he looks around Cheryl and eyes me up and down. I feel a blush creep up my cheeks as he looks me over.

“I think so?”

“You’re gonna be fine, darlin’. I’m gonna be right there with you. If it gets too much, just tell me.”

“Okay.” He nods, and I walk out of the room and follow him into the main room. The other guys are lingering around talking as we walk past.

Once we’re outside, he passes me the helmet, and I slide it on and buckle it. Then we’re climbing on the bike. The next thing I know, he’s revving the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. I hold on tight as he takes the corners and handles the bike like a professional, and I suppose, in a way, he is.

I always wondered what happened to him, where he went. I knew he was part of some kind of club because his mom had said as much, but that’s all I knew. I found that after a while, I missed him. A lot. We were close back then, and I missed having someone I could rely on.

Ignoring the thoughts in my head, I hold on as we approach our old neighborhood. The one that holds so many memories. The place I was stolen from. I can’t believe it, even to this day, how quickly they grabbed me and tossed me into that van. It makes my stomach churn to even think about it.

We pull into the driveway, and he kills the engine, both of us climbing off the bike. Trek takes my helmet and hangs it from the handlebar along with his before he grabs my hand in his.

“Everything is gonna be okay,” he says softly.

“I’m nervous,” I tell him.

“I know you are, but she loves you. They both do,” he reminds me. I know my mom loved me in her way, but I don’t know if she can love me after what I’ve become. How can she even look at me the same? I can feel the disgust bubbling inside me, and I’d hate seeing it on her face.

Instead of stressing about it, I take a deep breath as Trek shoves the front door of his mom’s house open.

“Mom?” Trek calls out as we walk through the living room toward the kitchen. I’m hit with old memories as we walk through the house. A chill wraps around me, and I shudder as I think about all the time I spent here.

“In here,” she calls from the kitchen. We walk in, and she’s standing at the sink washing dishes.

Trek releases my hand and walks over, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She smiles up at him before she notices me. Then her smile fades a little.

“Oh my god,” she whispers before moving past him and coming toward me. She grabs me, pulls me into a hug that I didn’t see coming, and holds me. Tears spring to my eyes as she keeps me wrapped in her arms.

“You’ve been gone for so long,” she whispers in my ear. I sniffle and try to hold back the tears, but it’s not doing me any good. They fall freely as she holds me tightly. Maybe this is what I needed all along. Maybe I did need to see everyone.

“It’s good to see you,” I tell her.

“Oh, honey. We’ve missed you so much. Have you seen your mom?”

“There’s somethin’ we need to talk about before she sees her,” Trek says for me. Nora pulls back and looks between us before nodding her head. She grabs my hand, leads me into the living room, and sits me on the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“The reason she’s been missin’. A lot is goin’ on, mom. Shit I’m worried about for you and the girls too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sex trafficking,” I blurt out. She looks at me and then at Trek before slowly shaking her head.

“No. That’s not where you’ve been,” she almost whispers as tears fill her eyes.

“I was grabbed outside one day,” I explain as tears burn my eyes.

“Oh my God, Heidi. I’m so sorry,” Nora cries, pulling me back into her arms. We both sob as we hold onto each other. I know I won’t get the same reaction from my mom, so I take it from her. I hold onto Nora for dear life. I hold her as if I’ll never see her again.

“I’m doing better. Trek has helped me,” I tell her. When she finally pulls away, she smiles over at her son.

“You’ve always been a good person,” she says.

“I don’t know about that. She showed up. I’m sure it was just a coincidence I was there.”

“You know I don’t believe in that mess. It was more than that. You were meant to be there,” Nora tells Trek as I smile at them both.

“Listen, this shit is closer to home than we thought. It’s local, mom. I need the girls to be extra careful and not go out alone.”

“They never do. The girls always take a friend with them,” she reassures Trek.

“Good. Make sure they keep doin’ that.”

“They will. The girls are smart, Rory. You don’t have to worry about them.” Something hits me in the chest. I wasn’t smart back then and was out by myself. Trek must feel the tension because he stands and grabs me off the couch, pulling me into his arms. An agonized sob rips from my chest as I let it all sink in.

“Oh, Heidi,” Nora says as she stands and places her hand on my shoulder.

“She’s gonna be fine,” Trek reassures her. I don’t know if I will be. I don’t know if I ever can be. I’m a mess, and I don’t know how to fix that.

“Have you seen your mom?” Nora asks, changing the subject to one we’ve already talked about.

“We’re goin’ there next.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“What?”

“I don’t think I can go over there, Trek,” I confess to him. He pulls back and looks down at me before shaking his head.

“Okay. Then we don’t go over there.”

“I’ll tell her I saw you with my own eyes, but you just weren’t ready for that yet,” Nora chimes in.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Nora nods her head, pulls me away from Trek and into her arms. I feel safe here. I feel comfortable with her. At the same time, I want to run back to the clubhouse and hide behind its walls. I know I’m safe there. I can feel it.

“You ready to go?” He must be able to feel the unease in me. I nod my head.

“So soon?” Nora asks.

“She needs to rest. It’s been rough on her,” Trek tells her.

“Of course, but don’t wait so long to come back,” she tells us.

“We won’t, mom,” Trek says as he wraps his hand around mine and pulls me toward the door. My chest feels tight, and it’s hard to breathe as we step outside onto the porch. He leans down and quickly presses a kiss to his mom’s cheek before pulling me down the steps and toward the bike. Then he spins me to face him, cupping my face in his hands.

“Just breathe, Heidi. You’re okay.”