Goddess

Tears are leaking from Goddess’s eyes now. “Please continue,” she encourages. “It’s just I like her even more now.” I grab her hand and give it a squeeze.

“Well, I went off to college and got an undergrad degree in business, but I knew that life wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to take over the family business, and neither did my brother. When my father died and we both got our inheritance, we decided on different paths in life. My brother, Silas, bought a yacht where he hosts sex-themed cruises for the elite. His business is sex, and he couldn’t be happier. Me, I avoid the limelight like the plague. I have more money than I could spend in two lifetimes, but I choose simplicity and live with the bare essentials. I help my mother achieve her dream with this place, but even then, she wouldn’t let me go crazy with the spending. Other than that, my money sits in the bank. The people of this town know what I’m worth even though my outside appearance and lifestyle don’t reflect it, so I have to watch closely for the opportunist. I’ve seen firsthand how money changes people, and I don’t want any part of that.” I leave out my moonlighting business. I possess a specific skill and have a particular setup, and my services are not easy to acquire.

“We’re alike in that way,” Goddess points out. “My family doesn’t come from money, but I’ve also seen firsthand how money changes people. I walked away from it all. I’m even happier now with just the essentials.”

I give her a warm smile. I love this about her. Some of the pussy I get is because some women are turned on by money. All they have to know is that I have a shit ton of it, but not Goddess.

“Marietta is my second home because Rosalita is here. I’m even thinking of buying a small place to make this my permanent residence. My mother refuses to let me rent a place unless I’m going to buy. She thinks it’s a waste when I have a perfectly good room here. I think she secretly wants to keep an eye on me after my last visit.” I chuckle.

“Why? What happened during your last visit?” That last comment was more to myself, but now I’ve opened that can of worms, so I might as well put it all out there.

“I’m not a good man, Goddess. Well, in a relationship sense. I’m actually a dick.”

“I’ve gotten a glimpse of how generous and kind you are, so I beg to differ.”

“As you’ve just said, you’ve gotten a glimpse. I like to fuck, Goddess. I have a high sex drive, and I like variety. The last time I was here, I left a trail of heartbroken women in my wake. I tried the commitment shit with one woman who had just moved to town. She didn’t know about my playboy ways from all the summers I’d visited here. She saw me. She fell in love with me, and I ripped her fucking heart out because I couldn’t commit. Women get close, and I bail. That’s what I do. I had to fuck as many women as I could before I left last time to erase the mark Ellen left on my heart. She had gotten the closest. Now I won’t even try the relationship crap. It’s a trap and a setup for failure. I fuck and move on. There is no hope for me.”

I ease my hand out of Goddess’s. Is she ready to run yet? I just laid all my baggage out for her to see.

“We aren’t our mistakes, Huxley. Our past is just that—our past. Every day is a chance for a new start. Losing your mother at such an early age may have affected you more than you realize. Have you ever thought that your commitment issues stem from you wanting to leave them before they leave you? It’s normal to—”

“And now you’re an expert on what’s normal?” I snap at her. I don’t want to listen to her psychobabble bullshit or her attempt to dissect my life. For fuck’s sake, this is why I don’t share my personal shit.

“I’m not an expert. I’m just reading between the lines.”

“Well, don’t,” I huff. So much for this night leading to mind-blowing sex. I stand, and she follows suit.

“You’re doing it again. You chose to let me in, but now that I’m showing you I see you, you’re pushing me away too.”

My stomach churns, and I don’t want to hear her words. I don’t want her to analyze and judge me. I have to get her to leave.

“No offense, but you don’t even have your own shit figured out. You stayed with a man who beat you. How is that love? More than anything, it proves my point about the nonexistence of happily ever after. Fuck and move on!” My voice raises, but I don’t notice until she flinches. Fuck.

“No offense taken. I hear you loud and clear. I will focus on my own shit like I set out to do before I met you. You win.” She spins on her heel and storms out of my room, but not before I hear her mumble, “Night, dick.”

She left like I wanted, but I felt hollow. She shared how verbally abusive her fiancé was when he wasn’t physical, and I just took her back to that place. I really am a dick. I need to get away from here for a few days. Fuck her out of my thoughts and then carry on with life as usual until this job is over. Things were never going to work between us anyway. Better it ends now before screwing her one more time.