Homeless Heart

"The one question I have to ask you is why didn't you love me enough? Why was I never enough?"

Her silence broke my heart. I wanted to slap her and scream, but no answer came.

"I am not sure I can do this, Mother. I need to discuss this with Lizzie, and we'll have to get back to you." I looked down at Lizzie, her ice-blue eyes were full of the love and admiration that I needed at that moment.

Mother straightened her clothes and wiped the tears away. "If you want your trust early, I will get your father to release the funds under one condition. You must promise to get tested to be a donor. You don't need to be a donor, but you have to get tested. If you are a match, you can then decide what you will do."

"Mother, you realize you are blackmailing me?" I shook my head. I should have known the lengths my parents would go to get me to help out.

She shook her head. "No, Phin, it's not blackmailing, it's an incentive."

My mother was good at getting what she wanted.

"Phin and I will discuss it. Having a family is very important to us and time might not be on our side," Lizzie chimed up.

"It's not on his father's side either."

I flinched at my mother's remark.

Mother's face looked pained. "Can you not have children?"

"Yes, I can, Mrs. Dunbar, but I've had a miscarriage in the past and I was concerned about my age. The doctor said I am fine, but I am still concerned because of our age difference. Phin wants to stay at home with the kids so I can work, and I want him to have the inheritance so he can."

Mother looked shocked. "Phin, you will take care of the children?"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Yes, Mother, I will stay home and take care of our kids. Eventually, I will go back to school and get a degree. I won’t leave my kids for someone else to raise. I want to be a better parent than I had."

My mother looked down at her tea after that last comment, knowing she deserved it. I couldn't feel bad for her because the scars on my back reminded me that I'd been through much more pain than a few sarcastic remarks.

I took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'd like to have access to my trust so I can afford to start our future, but I can wait. I'll be able to access the money soon legally."

My mother frowned, cleared her throat, and put her tea down. The compassion and sadness left her face, and her public face came back on. Shit, this wasn't going well.

"Phin, I know that the trust is still there, and you'll have access to it very soon. We can't stop you. Your father would be happy you are interested in going back to school, but I am not sure he'll be too happy about you being a stay at home dad. Also, no disrespect to Elizabeth, but I am not sure I am comfortable paying for her to have children. Even if they are my grandchildren."

I had to take a deep breath and count to ten before I answered my mother's accusations of Lizzie being a gold digger. I didn't have a chance to calm down before Lizzie blew her top.

Lizzie flew up from the sofa and was standing over my mother vibrating with rage.

"Mrs. Dunbar! I can't believe you!"

I smiled and thought this is going to be good.