I is for Ian

But for the first time, that part wasn’t the loudest. There was a louder voice, a stronger one telling me not to second-guess what was happening. Maybe this was far more than I ever could have imagined.

We finished eating and set the dishes aside. The water was still working, but the water heater obviously wasn’t, so it wasn’t worth attempting to wash them in the already-frigid room. That could be handled when the power was back. Instead, we crawled back into the nest of the blankets on the bed and took out our trusty deck of cards again.

After a few rounds, it was pretty obvious Ian wasn’t having much fun losing these hands. He glanced over at the table beside the bed, where our phones were hooked up to the power bricks he got out of the truck.

“You know,” he said, “I have service right now.”

I raised an eyebrow at him while I gathered up the cards. “I know. We’ve talked to people.”

“But that means I can access my streaming services.”

He said it with a hint of mischief in his voice, like he was making a scandalous suggestion. The silly waggle of his eyebrows told me he wasn’t actually thinking along those lines.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked.

A few minutes later we were cuddled up under all the blankets, his phone propped on his up-bent thigh as we started what we intended to be a binge of one of the many TV shows that were popular a couple of years back and I’d never got around to watching. I was starting to catch on to references and jokes I’d heard bantered around the hospital when the show was new and never understood when the stream paused, and Ian’s phone started ringing.

Disappointment sank in my stomach. The ringing phone pulled me out of the bubble that we’d created. Here, it was just us. That phone call forced me to remember there was a world outside. We were just existing in a paused section of it. I didn’t want to think about that right then. I was perfectly happy carrying on with the illusion that this could be what life really was.

Ian sat up, pulling his arm out from around me so he could answer.

“Hey, Carl,” he said.

That was the same name he’d mentioned every other time he talked about his team that was working to get us out of the hospital. Maybe this was it. They’d been trying to get us out by today rather than us having to wait several more days, so maybe this was the call that was to tell us they’d gotten through and were waiting outside to carry us away.

I didn’t know how to feel about that. It was what I’d been hoping for when I first realized I was stuck at the hospital. The thought of staying in the empty building for a second longer than I had to seemed horrible, and I was eager to find any way possible to get out. Now I wasn’t as eager. If the team was able to get us out, that would mean having to face reality. I couldn’t just tuck the feelings I was having aside to be examined later. It would be time to look at them fully and honestly and decide what they were going to mean in the context of real life.

I didn’t know if I was ready for that yet.

The conversation went back and forth for a few seconds with Ian’s contributions limited mostly to grunts and murmurs of acknowledgment. I couldn’t hear what Carl was saying on the other end, and Ian’s expression didn’t give away what was going on. Finally, he said goodbye and hung up. He turned to me.

“So?” I asked.

“That was Carl. One of the guys knows some guys from up on the mountain and got in touch with them. A guy named Hawk cleared most of the roadway heading to the hospital.”

I remembered that name. The image of a frightened, bewildered man holding a tiny baby girl who was suddenly in his care came to mind.

“I know Hawk,” I said.

He tilted his head down, giving me a conspiratorial, questioning look. “Is that really his name?”

I laughed. “No. But that’s what everybody calls him. He lives at the top of the mountain and does avian tracking and research.”

“Ah. He studies hawks,” Ian said.

“You catch on quick.”

“Well, there’s that sass. I was wondering what happened to it.”

I made a face at him, then leaned in for a kiss, feeling like I was grasping at what might be our last minutes in this happy bubble.

“So, Hawk cleared most of the roadway,” I said as I sat back, setting him up to continue telling me what he’d found out.

“Yes,” Ian said. “He wasn’t able to get it all the way clear. There was a ton of damage, and a lot of trees fell. There were some power lines down as well, so the obstacles made it slower progress. But he’s really optimistic he’ll be able to have the way out totally cleared by tomorrow morning. Another wave of bad weather is supposed to hit, but they’re sure they’re going to be able to get us out of here before it comes.”