Hollywood Playboy (Hollywood Royalty 1)

“Are you okay?” she asks, and I shake my head. “Yeah, he was pretty much destroyed when he left.”

“Yeah.” I bend down now, putting my hands on my knees. My breathing becomes irrational as I have a panic attack in the middle of her backyard. “He said he loved me, and I sent him away.”

“Well, obviously, he loves you,” she tells me, and I look at her. “You have to have known he loved you if he showed up here.” She smiles at me. “Honey, you’re in the middle of Montana. There is no way he knew where you were unless he had been searching for you. He would have had to pull out all the stops to track you down.”

“What?” I’m confused by her words.

“He found out you were here two, maybe three hours ago.” I stand tall. “It’s a two-hour flight.”

“Kellie, my life was destroyed by this.”

“No,” she snaps, “your life was not destroyed from this because you’re still here.” She comes to me now, hugging me. “They tried to destroy you, but all they did was make you stronger.”

“I don’t feel strong. I feel defeated. I feel like I’m at the bottom of the barrel, and I can barely see the light out. I don’t have a fucking job,” I shout.

“You hated your job,” she shouts back at me. “Maybe it was what you needed in order to move on.”

“My face is on every single magazine cover in the United States,” I tell her, “and not in a good way.”

“And come next week, it’s going to be at the bottom of a bird cage with shit on it.” She throws her hands up. “He’s Hollywood Playboy for a reason, yet he came here and fought for you. Not only did he fight for you, but I also threatened to shoot him.”

“You what?” I asked shocked, my eyes huge.

“When in Montana, you pull out the big guns, bestie. The decision is yours and no one else’s, but I hope you know what you’re throwing away because sometimes finding love isn’t that easy.” She squeezes my shoulder with one hand and leaves me alone with my thoughts. I gaze into the distance, the calmness of the mountains, the light breeze. My arms wrap around my stomach, trying to get the chill out of my bones. I turn around and walk back inside and stop. He’s there standing at the top of the stairs looking down at me, his face ravaged with hurt.

“Tyler,” I whisper.

“I left,” he says. “I got in the car, and I thought I was having a heart attack.” He rubs his chest with his fist. “The pain was so much I couldn’t stand it.” I take a step forward to go to him, and he holds up his hand. “I knew I had to come back because I wasn’t done fighting for you.” He starts down the steps while he talks. “Tell me you don’t feel anything for me.” His eyes bore into me. “Tell me that when I left, your heart didn’t hurt like mine.” I swallow now, my throat dry, as he comes down the last step. “Tell me that the last four days weren’t the worst of your life.” He stands in front of me. “Tell me that when I held you in my arms just now, you didn’t feel it.” He looks down into my eyes. “Tell me that when you were in my arms, you didn’t feel like everything would be okay because we were finally together.”

I stare at him, taking in his face and the circles under his eyes that pretty much match mine. I look at the worry. I look at his chest rising and falling because I’m sure his heart is beating just as fast as mine. “I can’t,” I finally whisper, and now it’s me who touches him first. My hands slide inside his jacket to loop around his waist and fist his shirt. “I can’t tell you any of that because I would be lying.” I blink, and when the tear falls over my lid, his hand comes up and catches it on his thumb. “I went through so many emotions in the past four days. I was angry that our secret was out. I was pissed that I made people and their opinions matter to me. I was horrified and disgusted that a private moment between us was made to be dirty. But most importantly, I was scared.” I take a second to try to find the right words. “I was scared that . . . that you felt the way the papers said. I was scared that you played me. I was scared that I felt all these emotions for you, and you felt nothing for me.” I look up at him, finally seeing that I was wrong.