Now, as steaming water filled her tub, she stared at her naked reflection in the mirror. She touched the black collar still around her neck. Had she just ruined everything?
“You did what you had to do,” she reminded her reflection. Reaching back, she unbuckled the collar and dropped it to the floor.
After her bath, which thawed her frozen toes and warmed her blood, she made herself a cup of hot tea. Opening her laptop, she perused her work emails and made a cursory stab at catching up on her charts. But her heart wasn’t in it, and she found herself staring at the screen in a daze.
An email came in on her private account. Her heart leaping into her throat, she opened the browser again. But the email wasn’t from Hayden. It was from her mother, checking in on how she’d weathered the storm.
She answered the email, keeping it purposely breezy, light and vague. She hadn’t told her mother about Hayden, not that she would have shared any of the specific details even in the best of times. Now, she was glad she hadn’t, so she wouldn’t have to explain things were practically over already.
No. Not over. A timeout.
He’d said he understood.
She saw his crushed expression as she’d explained she had to go, and it made her heart ache. Had she taken the coward’s way out, running away as she had?
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I had to. I just couldn’t do it.”
Her cell, resting silently on the tiny kitchen table beside her laptop, dinged with a text. Hayden!
But it wasn’t from Hayden. It was from Naomi.
Hey, girlfriend. You dug out yet? Things didn’t go too far with Alan Peters. ? Typical author, thinks he knows everything about everything. Boring in bed! Ah well, another one bites the dust… Want to meet for drinks later? Breakfast tomorrow? I want to hear all about Mr. Dream Dom.
Dahlia pondered the invitation as she reread the text. The thought of having to explain about the weekend wasn’t particularly appealing. Especially not after Naomi’s initial freakout about a few bruises. And she knew herself well enough to know that if she saw Naomi now, she’d end up pouring her heart out.
She would make it up to her friend later. They could commiserate about failed relationships, as they’d done so many times before.
Hey there. Sucks about Alan. Sorry, I would have loved to meet, but I’m really behind on my work. I’ll see you at spin class next week? Maybe we can get together for a drink afterward, if that works for you?
Okay. See you then.
As Dahlia lay in bed that night, she tossed and turned. Why was she sleeping in her lumpy little bed alone, instead of enfolded in Hayden’s warm, strong arms? She reached for her phone, checking yet again if he’d texted.
“You could text him,” she reminded herself.
But what would she say?
She’d told him she needed time away from uber-Dom Hayden, and she did. But the irony was that the Hayden she’d gotten to know before this whole D/s experiment was also her good friend and confidant. If she lost the Dom, did she automatically lose the friend? How crazy was it that the one she most wanted to talk to about all this was Hayden himself? Yet, running back to him now would send the wrong message. She needed to get her own head on straight before she saw him again.
It occurred to her, not for the first time, that things might be awkward at the hospital on Monday. But she’d known that risk going in. It was never wise to get involved with coworkers, but when work was all you had time for, and those were the people you became closest to, it was a hard rule to stick to.
Anyway, Hayden was a gentleman. He would never do anything so tacky as make a scene in public. She’d just stay away from the cafeteria for a while to mitigate any potential embarrassment between them.
Setting the phone back down, she closed her eyes.
It was a long time before sleep found her.
Chapter 28
Dahlia was roused from a disturbing dream the next morning by her phone buzzing on the bedside table. Instantly wide awake, she grabbed it, heart pounding.
But it wasn’t from Hayden. Had she blown it for good?
She clicked on the message, which was from Jess Cooper.
Hi, Dahlia. Hope I’m not texting too early on a Sunday. Wondering if you’d like to grab some breakfast this morning? Just you and me, say around 10?
If nothing else, breakfast with a new friend would at least be distracting. Without giving herself a chance to overthink it, Dahlia responded.
Sure. That sounds great.
They hashed out the details of where to meet. Then Jess added:
Full disclosure. We saw Hayden last night at the club. He was pretty down. I’m guessing you’re pretty down yourself. As someone who’s been there, done that, I might be able to provide a sympathetic ear, maybe even offer some advice.