“No, but getting you on a prestigious team that has a reputation for the Olympics means you have an even greater chance of going. And then she’ll get to say she has a daughter that is going for the gold again. You saw what it did to her last time when I went. She threw it out left and right to get everything she could. It put her in the spotlight. People fawned over her, thinking she was a good mother and inspired her kid to go far.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“I know you’re good enough to make it on your own. You don’t need that team to get there. You were doing just fine with Charlie before he left, and if you continue to ride like you were, you are a shoo-in for a team.”
“I know, but this team can make sure that I go.”
“Is that the only reason you’re leaving?” She put a hand on her hip and glared at me.
Shit.How did she know?
“Of course, it is. We knew I was only here to train until I found a new team to go to. Why would I need to stay longer now that I have one?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe Ty and Scott.” Blake threw her hands up. “Can you honestly tell me you’re okay with just dropping them and leaving right now? Especially without saying goodbye? I almost get the feeling you were going to leave without saying goodbye to me, too.”
“I wasn’t, I promise. I was going to talk to you tomorrow.” After I had the truck already loaded so I could get away as quickly as possible. I hated goodbyes. I hated having to leave my sister. “Plus, the guys and I are done. We had our fun, and things didn’t work out.”
“Why? I thought things were going great with you all? Did something happen?”
“Everything was fine until they started telling me what to do, and then Scott started talking about how we wouldn’t last anyway. So, we ended things before it went too far. It was for the best. Besides, I’m leaving tomorrow, so things worked out the way they were supposed to.”
“You’re telling me that Ty and Scott tried to make you do something you didn’t want to do?” Blake narrowed her eyes.
“Ty was telling me I needed to let Mom go. That Mom was controlling me and I needed to stop listening to her and start living my own life.” I started pacing back and forth in the kitchen.
Blake stepped in front of me on my next pass. “You mean like I’ve been telling you for years. What, just because it comes from him that you think he’s telling you what to do? Grace, he was there. He saw how she treated both of us. He’s just looking out for you. And he’s right; you need to let Mom go.”
“I’m not ready, Blake. I told him that, and he still pushed.”
“Of course, he did. That’s what people do when they care about you. They push you to be better. And don’t you dare say that is what Mom is doing, too, because you know it’s not. She’s controlling. She only looks out for herself and uses everyone else around her.”
“But... I owe her everything, Blake. I wouldn’t be where I am without her.”
“No, you’re at the top of your game because of you. Not her. Mom is trying to take back her control over you by finding you a team. And you’re feeding right into it. Now you feel like you owe her. She’s going to be your shadow the whole time. Do you think she’ll let you bring Storm? She’s going to find every excuse to not get a trailer down here. He’s associated with me, and she never thought he or I was good enough. She doesn’t care about you being happy.”
I hated that Blake was voicing the same concerns I kept trying to shove down.
“She may not know about the guys, but I know. I see they make you happy. You’ll never be happy if you leave and let her run your life.”
I took a sharp breath.
My vision blurred as tears pooled in my eyes. I knew Blake was right. Our mom didn’t do anything for me out of love. She looked out for herself first. I wasn’t even sure if I truly ranked second in her mind. Blake on the other hand, looked out for me whether I was with her, or we were apart.
Blake laid her hands on my arms and waited to speak until I looked at her. “I’ve seen the way you’ve changed around them, and I’ve seen them change because of you. Those boys are head over heels for you. They would do anything for you. Did you know they skipped poker night last week to be with you? Ty never misses a game. And they missed their last rotation because they prioritized you and Storm when you both got hurt. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.”
“Blake, what do I do? I’m in love with them, but I really want to be on this team.”
“You’ve never mentioned the NetJets before. Is it really that team you want, or how they increase your chance of going to Brazil?” She let go of me.
I sighed and dropped my shoulders. “Brazil.”
“You don’t need them to get to Brazil. Together, we can find a team that’s the perfect fit for you. You don’t need Mom’s handouts.” She placed her hand on my upper arm again as though reinforcing her point. “You can do this on your own. She wasn’t involved the last three years while you were making a name for yourself on Charlie’s team and working your way up the ranks. You don’t need her now.”
“I would feel better if I had a team.”
“I know, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Mull it over for a few more days. You don’t want to rush into anything. Do your research, and if you still feel like you want to be on that team, then I will trailer Storm and go there with you.”
I nodded. It meant a lot to me that Blake would back me up with whatever choice I made. She was right, though. I needed to do my research. I needed to check out all my options before I did anything. Mom gave me one option, but maybe I could find another I liked better. I’d left it up to Blake to find me a team, which wasn’t fair to her. She had enough on her plate. It was finally time I took ownership of my future and looked out for myself.