With a clenched jaw, I nodded my head, giving in. “Emmaline, little one, I’m going to put you in the wheelchair, okay?”
She nodded her head. I gently scooped her up from the bed and placed her in the chair. After I had her feet propped up on the foot props, I grabbed her hand in mine, holding it captive as Dr. Williams pushed her chair down a couple of hallways until we were at his ultrasound room.
Without a word, I gently lifted Emmaline up from the chair and placed her on the cot. More tears slid down her cheeks, breaking my fucking heart, making my soul roar in anger.
I was fucking helpless.
I leaned down and brushed my lips to her cheek. “Be strong, little one,” I begged her. “It’s going to be okay,” I promised.
She nodded her head, sucking in a sharp breath before she bit her bottom lip, squeezing her eyes shut. I stepped out of the way as Dr. Williams sat down on his stool, grabbing a bottle from the ultrasound stand.
“I’m going to squeeze this on your belly,” he told her. “It’s a little warm, so don’t be alarmed.” He pushed her shirt up and squeezed some of the gel onto her stomach. Her hand reached out for mine, and I quickly placed my hand in hers, stepping a little closer to the cot.
“Alright. Let’s see,” he said a little thoughtfully as he grabbed the ultrasound wand and pressed it to her belly.
He moved it around some, taking some photos. She made small noises of pain, her hand continuously tightening around mine. “As I thought,” he finally said as he paused, looking more closely at something on the screen. “Your appendix is about to burst,” he told her. “I need to get you prepped for surgery as soon as possible.” He looked up at me. “It will have to be done at a hospital by a surgeon, James. This is too critical for me to do.”
Gritting my teeth, I nodded my head. “Call the hospital,” I told him. “Pull strings. I’m not fucking waiting.”
He nodded once, pulling his phone from his pocket as I lifted Emmaline into my arms, setting her back in the wheelchair. Once she was situated, I quickly pushed her towards the garage where I kept my personal vehicle.
“I’m going to throw up,” Emmaline warned me.
I quickly pushed her into the nearest restroom and held her hair out of her face as she threw up.
God, grant me patience, I begged. I can’t stand seeing her like this.
Once she was finished, I quickly wheeled her out to my car and gently set her in the passenger seat before I jogged around to the driver’s side. I grabbed her hand in mine as I backed out of the garage.
“We’re going to get this taken care of, little one,” I promised her. “Just hang in there for me.”
“I’m trying,” she croaked, more tears running down her pale face.
I brought her hand up to my lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand. “I know you are, little one, and I’m so fucking proud of you. Keep trying,” I begged her. “Don’t fucking give up on me.”
Her hand squeezed mine. “I’m not,” she whispered. “I promise I’ll never give up, James.”
I was clinging onto those words with every fiber of my being because I wasn’t sure if I could survive losing her.