Hollywood Prince (Hollywood Royalty 3)

“What do you want?” she asks me, and I look at her with furrowed eyebrows. “Do you prefer a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t care. The main thing is that he or she is healthy.” I smile at her. “What about you?”

“I already love him or her so much, I don’t care.” She smiles, and her hand remains on her belly. “Will you read me something?”

“From my journal?” I ask her, and she just nods. “Any day in particular?” She shakes her head, and I open it to the first page, figuring the beginning is where we always need to return.

Dear Little One,

I found out today I’m going to be your dad. There are no words that I can say to justify how happy I am that you chose me. That you chose us.

I sit here in the guest bedroom of my house, and all I can think of is all the things I want to tell you. All the things I want to do with you. All the ways I’m going to show you how much I love you.

Your mom is . . . she, she is just amazing. I never thought I would love someone the way I love her and you. She came into my life, and she just made it so much better. Made absolutely everything better.

I messed up big time, Little One, so big I don’t think she will ever forgive me, but no matter what, I’m going to love her forever. I don’t think I know how to not love her.

I can’t wait to meet you, Little One.

Dad

I look down and see her with a tear running down her face. “Will you read me another one?” Her voice is soft. I turn the page to the next entry.

Dear Little One,

I met you today for the first time. Well, I saw you for the first time. I also heard your heartbeat, and my heart filled with so much pride and excitement that I thought my own heart would burst out of my chest. I was so proud to be your dad. I held your mom’s hand and looked down, hoping she knew how much I loved her, how much I love you.

I saw your two little nubs that will one day soon be hands and feet. You were spinning around and around. Don’t tell anyone else, but you are the best-looking kid in the world.

I can’t wait to meet you, Little One.

Dad

P.S. If you can, try to go easy on your mom. You are giving her a bad case of morning sickness, and I worry when I’m not there to make sure she is okay.

“One more?” she asks, and I turn to the page when she called me when she was bleeding. The scariest day of my life so far.

Dear Little One,

We had a big scare tonight, so big I didn’t know what to do. I prayed for the first time in a long time, prayed that you would be okay, prayed and even tried to sacrifice myself for you and your mom. I would give anything to make sure you are never hurt. I sat there watching your mom be the bravest person in the world, and the only thing I could think about was you and your mom. The only thing I could think of was making sure that every single day you know that you are loved.

I need you to be okay, Little One. I need you to fight to be okay, and I need you to know that I love you and your mom so much.

I spoke with your grandpa Ryan tonight. He’s a good guy, but don’t listen to what he has to say about me. He told me that I need to fight for your mom. I need to fight for you and for her and for us. I need to show her how much I love her. I’m going to do it. Until my last breath, she is going to know that I love you both with everything I have.

Be good, Little One.

Dad

I look down at her, waiting for her to tell me she wants to hear one more journal entry, but instead, she just sits there, staring at me with a look I can’t make out on her gorgeous face.

“I knew that, no matter what, you would be a good dad,” she tells me, sitting up. “I know that now. No matter how you were raised or what your own parents did to you, you’d never make those same mistakes. You are amazing, Carter.”

“I am going to try,” I tell her. “I don’t think I’m going to be perfect, but I’m going to be the best I can be,” I tell her, putting my journal on the side. “I want to be the soccer dad, the football dad. I want to be there for the first crawl and first step. I want to teach them how to ride a two-wheel bike and how to swim. I want to be there every single step of the way not missing a thing.” She smiles at me. “I love you,” I tell her again. “I know I tell you that all the time, but I just don’t want you to ever doubt it. I want us to be a family, and I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to go to bed with my hand on your stomach, so our baby knows I’m there.” She wipes away a tear. “I want to put up the crib with you, and I want to hold your hand at night and in the morning. I want you to depend on me. I want it all, Erin.” I’m putting all my cards on the table, so I will never have to be thinking I should have. “I want it all, and I want it with you.” She comes to me and throws her leg over to sit on my lap. My hands go to her hips, and she leans her head forward. Her hair falls to the front, and I take both hands, tucking it into the back over her shoulder. “You are so beautiful,” I tell her, and she puts her hands on my face.