“I don’t know, Ally. Does it feel weird to you?”
She eyes me. “No. I feel pretty damn good.”
“I do too. I mean us. Isn’t it weird to take it to this level?”
She furrows her brows. “Do you think it’s weird?”
“No… I don’t know.” Her brows don’t relax, and she’s still eyeing me. I know that means she’s getting annoyed with me. “You hear all kinds of horror stories about friends ge
tting together and it going bad. But I guess we haven’t had time yet for it—”
“Asher.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.” I narrow my gaze as I lean down, pressing my nose to hers. “Shut your brain off and enjoy what we are building here. We know two things—we are great friends, and sex is awesome between us. What could go wrong?”
“You could turn into a lesbian and leave me?” I go for the joke, because telling her I don’t know how to let myself be with her isn’t something I can say right now.
She snorts with laughter. “Not happening. I love dick. Yours, especially.” I don’t smile, and her eyes go soft. “Really? I know it broke your heart when that happened with Jasmine, but I really didn’t see it messing with your confidence.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t know if it’s my confidence or if it’s because it’s you.”
“What do you mean?”
I run my thumb along her jaw. It’s red in spots where I held her when we were going at it. “I have had the pleasure of being your number one for years and you mine, and we know that life. No one could come close to what we have. We’ve got that down. But now, we’re treading in uncharted waters. So much can go wrong—you could hate that I moan when I eat—”
“Actually, I think it’s hot. Always have.” She smiles. “We know each other, inside and out, Ash. Now we get to know each other as lovers.”
I press my thumb into her chin. “But what if we don’t like what we find out?”
She draws her lip between her teeth. “I guess that goes back to my previous question. Am I worth the risk?”
She is. I know she is. I feel it deep in my soul, but I don’t want to lose her. If I say that, though, it’ll be too deep and she’ll be worried. I don’t want her to know that I’m struggling with this. That I’m terrified I’ll lose not only my best friend but someone I now think I might be able to have a future with?
I have no logical reason to think I’ll lose her. She has never cheated on the guys she has been with. She can get a bit hangry and doesn’t like to be woken up. She has a tendency to jump on the defensive for the smallest things. But these are all things I know. I know her likes, her dislikes, and that her family means the world to her. I know she would die for me, and I for her. All this is what every person wants when they get into a relationship with someone, so what am I scared of? Why can’t I just be happy I may have hit the jackpot when it comes to love? Because I know things like this don’t happen out of nowhere. A perfect relationship doesn’t fall in your lap.
What the hell is wrong with me?
She brings my head toward her, pressing our foreheads together. “I know it’s overwhelming and doesn’t seem real—I feel that too. But then I look into your good eye, I feel your hands on me, and Asher, you make me feel everything I’ve wanted for so long. This. I wanted this. Us.”
I swallow hard. “I like how you made sure to point out my good eye.”
She fights back a grin. “I mean, it’s a damn good eye.”
I nod, my nose moving along hers. I need to know facts. “Are we telling our parents?”
She closes her eyes, a grin tugging at her lips. “Need all the facts, huh?”
“Yes,” I admit, and she kisses my top lip.
“I don’t know. Do you want to?”
“I want to tell everybody, but then I also want to hide you away and keep you all to myself,” I confess, and her face breaks in a grin as her eyes meet mine. “I don’t want anyone ridiculing us or telling us how we feel. I don’t want people rushing into things. I think I’m already expecting that, too.”
She nods slowly. “I get that.”
“But here,” I say, gathering her up in my arms. “Here, no one can say anything. We feel what we feel, and it’s ours alone. Is that crazy?”