“She won’t understand,” I say slowly. “Shit, I don’t even understand why I’m like this.”
“You’re cautious, Ash. Everyone knows this, just not to the extent I do. But you crossed that line with Ally. Now, you have to own up to it.”
“That’s what Mom said in so many words. I don’t think she knows—”
“She does,” he says simply, and I narrow my eyes. “I told her, and I bet if you ask Dad, he’ll say the same. We all know Jasmine was someone you thought was safe and easy, and that’s why you ignored all her lesbian leanings. But like I said and will continue to say, with Ally, it’s going to be way different. And I pray, for your sake, you’re ready.”
“Why for my sake?”
“Because losing her would break you, dude.”
I press my lips together and close my eyes. I know he’s right, I do, which is why a part of me just wants to let it be and see what happens. She doesn’t have to know that; I don’t want to seem like a freak to her, because I’m not. I try to act normal, but I keep my heart on lock. While Aiden was out fucking whatever moved, I found someone I liked and stuck by her. Jasmine was safe. She wanted the things I wanted, and it was easy to tie her down. I didn’t soul-deep love her. I’ve never soul-deep loved anyone, but with Ally… Shit, she’s different, and Aiden’s right. I have to be honest. My only fear is that she’ll hate me for lying to her all these years and then end us before I even get a chance to really open up that side of me.
A side I’ve kept locked up for so long, I don’t even know if the key works. But I want to try—for her.
Even if it scares the living shit out of me.
Chapter Twenty
Ally
I feel lips along my stomach, and slowly, I stir. My vision is blurry as I open my eyes, but then I see him.
The man who stars in all of my dreams.
Asher moves down my stomach to my hip bones, all stealth-like. His body is big, but he moves so lithely and with such strength. I really hate that he didn’t play hockey; he would have been really good. His body was made for it, but his mind was made for other things. His mouth…well, it was made to bring me to the edge of the earth and back. Slowly, his tongue glides along my skin to my inner thigh as he moves between my legs. I swallow hard as I watch him, my heart picking up speed while my body starts to tremble. As he falls between my legs, kissing my pussy lips, his eye meets mine.
“Good morning, gorgeous.”
I take in a deep breath, unable to grasp that this is my life now. I smile softly before I stroke my hand along his face. “Good morning yourself.”
He beams at me before running his tongue up the slit of my pussy. His eye is concentrated on me, and I can feel his gaze all over me. Like a warm blanket of happiness. And everything seems right in the world. It’s almost a dream that he is here, between my legs, spreading my lips open so he can run his tongue over me. I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember, and here we are. His hair is tousled, his body is thick, and I have never been so turned on in my life.
He runs the tip of his tongue excruciatingly slow from my entrance to my clit and then back down. Over and over, so unhurried, as if he is taking his time, savoring me. I arch up on the bed as my foot comes to his shoulder, pinching him with my toes. He hisses out a breath before he sucks my clit between his lips, sending jolts of desire through my body. I cry out, my body trembling beneath his mouth. He slides his thumb into me, and I slam my other foot into his shoulder, wide open for him to take all of me. I squeeze the sheets with my fingers, arching and rocking against his mouth as he sucks me hard and without restraint while he continues to fuck me with his thumb. The sensation is entirely too much to handle. My voice is hoarse as I scream his name, and fuck, what a beautiful sound it is. I always wondered what it would be like, but never did I expect this. To be able to do it so fully, and know in my soul it’s coming from a place of pure ecstasy where only Asher can bring me.
I dig my toes into his shoulders, and I feel my stomach tighten up with my release. I arch up into his mouth, and my body goes tight before my release takes over. I cry out something that doesn’t even make sense as my orgasm shakes every single part of me. When he replaces his thumb with his cock, I feel like I’ve been smacked dead in the face with a volleyball. Or hell, even a puck. Or shit, a jumbotron falling on me. He fills me completely and so fucking perfectly. His thrusts are hard, wanton, as my legs rest against his chest. He holds my hips, pounding into me, our passionate sounds of lovemaking filling the room. His grunts are loud, throaty while I just hold the bed and pray I make it through this. I am still coming, I swear. But then he leans his face into my calf, and as he comes, hard, he sinks his teeth into my flesh.
I squeeze his cock, milking him as I cry out. It doesn’t hurt, but it surprises me, nonetheless. He jerks into me, his body shaking against my legs before licking the spot he bit. He kisses my calf, my ankle before giving the same love to my other leg. He drops my legs and falls between them, cuddling my face between his hands. I welcome his weight as we both breathe hard, getting lost in each other’s eyes. He strokes his fingers along my jaw, my lips before squeezing my chin and capturing my mouth with his. Our lips move together, and I taste every bit of myself on his. He pulls away first, but not far enough to where his lips aren’t touching mine.
“Don’t leave.”
I curve my lips against his. “I have classes.”
He scrunches up his face. “I want to bribe you with orgasms.”
I beam. “After that, I might be bribable, but we both know I have to go.”
He kisses my top lip, cupping my cheeks as he runs his thumbs along them. “Fine, let me make you breakfast before you go.”
“I don’t say no to orgasms or food,” I say, and his gray eye turns darker than ever.
“Maybe I can give you both, at the same time?”
I blink. “I’ve never heard of anything more perfect.”
As we kiss, we smile, and I realize that Asher makes me want to ignore all my responsibilities and stay right here. I’m already in too deep, and I know this. Asher isn’t even halfway on my level. He is still trying to figure everything out. He needs facts; he needs reassurance. I know this. He wants me, I can tell, and he cares for me, but I already love him. Fully, more than friends—as in, let’s get married and buy a house with a white picket fence. We’ll need two dogs so we each have a leash in our hands as we walk in our perfect little suburb, holding each other’s other hand. Then I want little gray-eyed boys who will drive me crazy with sports and girls who will drive me into an early grave with their emotions.
I want it all. I want that life with him. But I know Asher isn’t anywhere near that. He’s still accepting that I can make him squeal my name, and that’s fine. He’ll get there; I know he will.