“Asher had his appointment today?”
I look up from where I am writing the email to my internship. I haven’t told my mom that Asher and I are in a relationship. I don’t know why either. She’s been the number one fan of Allsher. Yes, I made us a celebrity couple, and yes, it’s pathetic. I know she would be supportive and extremely excited, but I worry I am jumping the gun. I’m not confident in us, so I don’t want to get everyone excited when sometimes, it’s even hard for me to feel that.
“Yeah, his mom took him. He should be able to take the patch off.”
“Oh good. I’m about tired of the pirate jokes.”
I snort. “Why? They’re fun.”
“They’re annoying. He’s such a handsome man, and he did that for you. It makes me love him more. I wish you two would just get together already.”
I clear my throat as I walk around the racks, looking for no reason. “Wanna know what he told me the other day?”
She looks up from a bright-green dress that I make a face at. “Absolutely not.”
“It’s kinda funky.”
“You mean fugly?”
She snickers as she asks, “What did Asher tell you?”
I hesitate for a second, but then I say, “That he never loved Jasmine.”
Her brows come in. “He almost married her.”
“I know, and I said that, but he said he was comfortable and knew it would be easy to be with her. So, he stayed even though he never felt that over-the-top, head-over-heels feeling for her.”
She blinks. “How did that make you feel?”
I shrug. “Kind of frustrated at first. Why waste your time with someone if you don’t love them? I actually felt bad for Jasmine, but then she was cheating on him, so that feeling passed quickly. And then came sadness for Asher. I’m worried he doesn’t want to be in love.”
I wish I hadn’t let those words escape. It gives them a power I don’t want to recognize. I don’t want to think he doesn’t want to be in love, because I truly believe he does. I just think he is scared, and the insecure side of me worries I won’t be able to chase away that fear. I don’t know how, to be honest. I’ve never been in this position. I’ve never wanted someone to love me the way I want Asher to. It’s terrifying.
“I think he does want to be in love. He just wants it with one person.”
I roll my eyes. “Mom, take me out of the equation.”
She shakes her head. “I will not, and let me explain why,” she insists when I go to stop her. “I know for a fact that boy is madly in love with you—”
“Mom, how do you know that?”
“You forget, I know men. I knew your father was in love with me before I even allowed myself to think that way. Asher reminds me so much of your father. He wants that foundation. He wants to feel safe, all because he knows what his mom went through. Yes, Fallon caused a lot of that and pushed Lucas away. But Aiden remembers the pain his momma went through, and he told Asher since they’re close. I unders
tand Asher’s way of thinking because I was like that. I didn’t want to put myself out there for someone to hurt me.”
“But, and this is a big but, if he wanted me, why wouldn’t he try? It would be so easy for us,” I say slowly, trying to hide the fact that we’re sleeping together and things are about to get complicated if I can’t stay patient. I want to, I do, and I’m already in too deep. It’s not as if I can give him up and move on. I would lose my best friend and the love of my life. I have to remind myself of that before my impatience gets the better of me.
“Sure, but like I’ve said before, he would fall so hard for you. I think he is telling you this, and keeping you at arm’s length, because it’s easier. But when it’s too much to handle, when you tell him you love him, he’ll find that he can’t keep doing easy. He’ll want hard, as long as it’s with you.”
I swallow as I look away. Her words give me hope, but I’m not naïve. If he can stay with someone he never loved because he didn’t want to give away his heart, how can being with me not mean the opposite? It does, and I’m pretty sure that will make him continue to keep me at arm’s length. At this point, he’s a pro at it. I know he doesn’t want to lose my friendship, and I’m sure he enjoys having sex with me, but giving me his heart is a whole other ball game.
One I don’t think he knows how to play. Or wants to play, for that matter.
No matter how great of a teammate I’ll be.
The joy on Asher’s face as he drives his car for the first time in weeks is downright adorable.
Not only is he driving, but he is patchless. I gotta admit, I miss the damn thing. It was a nice reminder of what he did for me. Of how this started. But I don’t really think I can ever forget it. He bangs his fingers against the wheel as he sings loudly, bobbing his head left to right as we head to the studio Shelli rented out for this dreaded group dance. “If I have to do the ‘Can’t Touch This’ dance, I will riot.”