“But can you give her all of you? She isn’t Jasmine—Ally’ll see right through that. Remember that.”
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, it bleeds. I knew I would be uncomfortable coming to lunch with my dad, but I never expected to feel guilt. I don’t want to hurt Ally, and I also don’t want to lose her. My dad is right, though, and I know it. This is also what Ally was implying and expecting me not to do. I’m not saying I am; I truly feel something for her. All over and all the way inside. But am I able to hand over my heart to her, knowing the risk, and accepting that she could ultimately break me?
I’m a smart guy, but even I don’t
know the answer to that.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Asher
“You are driving entirely too fast.”
I glance over at Stella, and she’s actually hanging on to the door handle as if I’m going two hundred instead of fifty-two. “I’m going the speed limit.”
She glances over at me, wide-eyed. “No, you’re going too fast.”
Emery giggles from the back. “Says the person who gets honked at all the time for going too slow.”
“Shut up, Em!”
My baby sister snickers as I pull into the mall parking lot. I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked them to go shopping with me. If I had my choice, I’d take Ally to dinner naked, but apparently that’s against the law in all fifty states. Really annoying. Because of this, I brought my sisters to help me pick out something for Ally.
I want tonight to be special. I don’t know if it was talking to my dad or what, but I want her to know I really care for her. Hell, I might even love her if she loved me. But just thinking that has me breaking out in a sweat. It may freak me out, but letting her go, or losing her, freaks me out even more. I need to figure this shit out. I need a little more time.
I pull into a spot and turn off the car. I glance over at Stella, watching her slowly let go of the side of the car like a damn frightened cat with its claws attached to something. “You all right there?”
She isn’t all right. “I don’t like how low this car is or how you drive.”
Emery pops her head in between us. “I thought it was awesome. Can I have this car when you get a new one?”
I give her a look. “I just got this one.”
“Yeah, but you’ll upgrade by the time I’m sixteen. So, I can have it, right?”
I blink. I could argue that it’s only a year and God help anyone on the road with her, but I just nod. “Yup.”
“Cool,” she gushes as she wiggles her shoulders. “So, what are we doing?”
Stella slowly grabs for her purse, and I ask, “I have a question.” They both look at me, and I’m nervous all of a sudden. Maybe I should have brought Aiden? But he isn’t here, so that’s the reason I didn’t call him. Also, he makes huge gestures to make girls feel good, like singing to them and shit. While I’m not about that life, I do want to do something for Ally. “Um, do girls like when you send them songs?”
“Send them songs? Like a mixtape?” Stella asks, her brow cocked.
“You do know it’s not the nineties, right?” Emery asks. “We send nudes on Snapchat.”
I blink as Stella snorts. “If I find out you’ve sent nudes, Emery, I will kill you.”
She grins. “You’ll never know,” she singsongs, and Stella rolls her eyes.
“She’s just messing with you,” she reassures me, and I believe it to be true with the way Emery is now laughing. “To answer your question, though, yeah, girls like it. I had a guy send me a song on Spotify once, and we totally hooked up.”
“Guys don’t talk to me,” Emery says with a shrug. “But if they did, I’d demand all the songs. I love how sometimes words aren’t enough, but when you put them to music, they’re awesome.”
I look between the two of them. What the hell did I get myself into? “I have a lot of thoughts, but I can’t right now.”
They both shrug, like twins. “Okay.”
“I’m having second thoughts.”