“No, I mean it scares me to think about trying to have a baby.”
I cup her jaw, shaking my head. “No, don’t do that. Don’t let fear do that to you.”
I should probably take my own advice, but that’s neither here nor there.
“But it—”
“You’re right, it could. But I refuse to allow you to think that. It will ruin you, Ally. Please don’t.” She nods as she takes in a shaky breath. “No matter what, I got you. If it does, we’ll be fine. We’ll always be fine.”
Her eyes meet mine in surprise. “What does that mean?”
“I got you,” I say simply.
“Are you saying you want a baby with me?”
Shit. Is that what I just said? I slowly shrug, realizing the answer. “I don’t think I’d want to make one with anyone but you.”
She pulls in a shuddery sigh. “Really?”
“Yeah. My future has you in it, Ally. Like this. Us.”
She cries out, and it’s not a sound of sadness. It’s happiness, and that wrecks my heart. She presses her lips to mine, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her so close, hoping to become one with her. I have never felt like this. I almost feel new. It’s insane, because the one person for whom I’ve kept my feelings locked up is the one person I want forever with. My future is her, and I know this. So why is it hard for me to open up and just give her my heart? How can I know this, how can I feel it, yet I don’t know how to tell her how I feel? All these feelings are rushing through me. I feel them everywhere, but I can’t say the words.
Thankfully, she hasn’t said them. Though I know she loves me.
I can feel it.
All over.
When she pulls back, she cups my cheek, and her eyes are drowning in tears. She clears her throat, her eyes so bright even through the tears. “I love you, Asher Brooks.”
I never thought those words could rattle me so much.
Oh. Fuck.
She waits.
I wait.
Nothing.
“Did you hear me?” She laughs, tears spilling from her eyes, and I probably look like a deer in headlights. “I love you, Asher. I love you so much. I always have.”
I hear her, completely, and if I weren’t scared out of my mind, I would enjoy those three words—hell, all these words—but I’m just staring at her. I can’t answer. My lips stay pressed together, and slowly, I watch her face change from the happiness she’s shown all night to an expression of pure anger. She steps out of my embrace and I try to bring her back, but she strikes those hips that I love so hard.
Oh, so I can love her hips, but I can’t love her? Or do I love her?
Fucking say something, Asher!
“Thanks?”
Her eyes widen, and so do mine. Really? That’s what I say?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
She doesn’t have to say anything more; her body says it all. I know I’ve fucked up royally.