We need more than a can for me to communicate what I am feeling.
Especially after how I hurt her. The one thing I didn’t want her to do to me, I did to her.
No, I need a huge gesture, and I’m hoping the one I’ve come up with will work.
It’s Aiden-sized and approved. Now I just need to execute it.
I forgot that coming to the volleyball game would mean I would have to sit with Jakob and Harper. There is no way around it; I have to. If I don’t, they’ll think something is up. My knees bounce, and I draw in very deep breaths while I sit between a visibly upset Harper and a cool as a cucumber Jakob. It’s obvious who knows what. I’m surprised Harper hasn’t blown up on me. Every time she opens her mouth, I prepare for impact. I wait for it, but it hasn’t hit yet. Jakob, though, he hasn’t shut up.
“So, how’s work?”
Nervously, I nod. “Good. Busy as ever.”
“I know you like it that way.”
“I do.”
Suddenly, Jakob stands, “Ooh, they opened the concession stand. Babe, you want anything?”
I almost cry to him not to leave. “No. I’m good,” she bites out, and he looks at me.
I shake my head. “Thanks. I’m not hungry.”
He walks off, and I realize Harper was waiting for him to leave. “You have let me down, Asher Brooks.”
Please come back, Jakob.
I close my eyes, letting my head fall back. “I let myself down, Mama Harper.”
“She loves you. You do realize that, right?”
“I know. I do. I freaked out.”
“You freaked out?” she scolds, shaking her head. “You have known her your whole life. She isn’t some girl you just met! She means something to you.”
“I know,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you don’t need to apologize to me. You need to apologize to her.”
“I am. I promise. She can’t block me or ignore me here. That’s why I came.”
She shakes her head, practically vibrating with anger. “And then you give her your mom’s ring and lie to her? What did you think that ring would mean to her?”
I cringe. “Is she mad about that?”
She gives me a dry look. “I don’t know because she won’t talk to me.”
“Who? Allison? Ugh, she isn’t back with Taco again, is she?”
Harper and I look up at Jakob. “She better not be,” I say, and he fist-bumps me.
“Not that you’re making sure that never happens,” Harper says on the sly, but I ignore her as Jakob grins at me.
“That’s why you’re my favorite,” he says, sitting down and holding out his nachos to me. He’s offering some to me, but I’m stunned in place. I knew Harper would be mad at me. I get it, I’m mad at myself, but I don’t want Jakob to be when he finds everything out. I clear my throat and look over at him once more. “Hey Jakob, I need to tell you something.”
I feel Harper’s gaze on me as he wipes his teeth with his tongue before looking back at me. “What’s up?”
“I fucked up.” He scrunches up his face, and I beg my heart to be still. “I hurt Ally, and it was completely avoidable, but I was too scared of what I was feeling.”