Can I be honest?
I fucking love it.
Like hard-core.
He’s watching me like I’m the only person in the room. Unlike everyone else in the café, he hasn’t looked at his phone, not even once. His gaze has been trained on me, moving his head to the beat and singing along to the songs he knows. It’s amazing and so damn sweet. I know he is here for me. I mean, I knew that before I got here, but I’ve never really had someone who was there for me. To cheer me on. But Jace, he’s that guy tonight, and it makes me feel some kind of way I’m trying to ignore. It’s just so damn hard.
Especially when he stands at the end of every single one of my songs, hollering my name and clapping loudly. Some girls would think he’s just trying to get laid—and he might be—but I don’t want to think that. I want to think he is being genuine, that he is enjoying my music and me. By the looks of him, I truly believe it. But then, is that me being a naïve girl again? I’m unsure, but I don’t want to ruin this by overthinking it. I want to soak it in and enjoy the attention.
It’s nice to feel important for once.
Grinning like a fool, I look down at my loop pedal while I set it for the next song. My playlist for tonight isn’t what I usually play. T
his is only my fourth show, but tonight is different. I’m pretty upbeat, which I guess is good since it’s not typically how I roll. Usually, I sing sad, depressing music, but tonight, I feel good. I feel happy, excited, and I’m sure I owe that all to him.
The whole day, he’s been a constant presence. Texting and calling me at every turn. I’ve never had someone come at me like he is. It’s kind of intimidating—but in a good way, if that makes sense. I don’t know. It’s never been like this with anyone I’ve dated or slept with. Well, I only dated Caleb and slept with a couple other guys, so I really don’t have a good basis for how this should go. But it just seems different. It’s crazy and I know I need to calm down, but it’s hard to when I look up and my eyes are pulled to him instantly.
“Let’s slow it down,” I say then.
I smile when I’m met with a suggestive “Yeah” from my front-row fan. I look at the next song, fully expecting to play it. Then, I have no clue why, but my fingers are playing a different song. A song I hadn’t planned on playing. I had wanted to play a cover of Taylor Swift, but that’s not what I’m doing. Still holding his gaze, I smile when he realizes what I’m playing. When I start to sing, the color of his eyes darkens, and it takes everything in me to remember the lyrics I wrote.
The lyrics to his song.
The song I have yet to admit is his, but I know the truth.
So does he.
Unable to tear my gaze from him, I play the song from my heart. The same place the song was written from. I love it. It’s probably my favorite song I’ve ever written and not just because it’s a lyrically great song but because of who it’s about. I’ll forever have this song as a reminder of him. Of the way he felt against me and beneath me. Nothing or no one can tear our night away from me because I have it in these lyrics. It’s special.
When I finish the song, the crowd erupts and I’m blown away by that. “Wow, thank you. I wrote that this morning. Still fine-tuning it.”
“It’s perfect,” Jace calls out to me as he claps loudly.
Grinning, I look away bashfully. He’s really making it hard to do this without turning into a puddle of goo.
“Well, thank you very much,” I say roughly into the mic which I notice makes him squirm in his seat. Good. I like that he’s squirming since I’ve been squirming all damn day.
Looking down, I see that I only have time for one more song. It’s insane how quickly my time goes up here. What’s more insane is that a hell of a lot more people are here tonight. Makes me feel really awesome. Like I’m actually succeeding here. Back home, no one ever took the time to listen to me. But here…here, it seems like I have the attention of everyone. I look out into the crowd, and I smile as Jace’s applause comes to an end and he lowers himself back into his chair.
“This is my last song—”
“What? Seriously?” Jace exclaims, and I have to hold back my laughter as Markus smacks him.
“Dude, shut up.”
“Much to his dismay, this is my last song, and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to listen. I have some flyers up here, so if you have time, come get one and check me out. Follow me and all that stuff—”
Before I can finish, though, Jace is up, reaching for the flyers I had made yesterday. Apparently not noticing that I’m looking at him like he is crazy, he begins to pass out flyers to everyone in the coffee shop. Even the people who work here.
“Okay, wow,” I say and Markus laughs, shaking his head as Jace goes to each person. “All right, so thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed my show. I know I have. I thank you and this is my cover of ‘Coffee’ by Miguel.”
I hear some cheer but not loudly. Not like Jace, who is still passing out flyers while fist-pumping to the beat I just hit. I love my loop pedal; this thing is awesome and it really does help make my music a thousand times better. Catching the beat, I start to play, and when I begin to sing, I look up, seeing everyone watching me, moving their heads to the beat and singing along. They seem to love what I’m doing, and I swear, I live for this. Yeah, it’s just a coffee shop on campus, but these people are my peers and they dig me. That’s freaking amazing.
But then my eyes are drawn to his, and I find that he’s standing in the back, his hands in his pockets, free of flyers, with a huge grin on his face. Looking so damn beautiful and big, I have to close my eyes to remember the next verse.
But I feel free.
So damn free.