Jace nods slowly before folding his arms over his chest. “I hear you.”
“Okay, well, I’ll text you if you need to watch your back for Jude and Jayden, but I’m sure they’ll call.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“Oh, and thanks. I think she had a blast,” she says happily as she looks at Angie, who has a grin a mile wide.
“I did,” Angie exclaims. “Avery is my favorite!”
Grinning big, my heart soars. No one has ever said that about me.
“Whoa!” Jace mock-complains. “What about me?”
She reaches for him, and he takes her as she kisses him loudly on the cheek. “Well, duh, you’ll always be my favorite.”
“That’s my girl,” he whispers against her cheek before kissing and putting her on her feet. “Love you both. See ya later.”
“See ya. Thanks again. Great meeting you, Avery.”
Smiling back at Lucy, I wave. “You too. Bye, Angie.”
“Bye!”
As we walk back to the car, Jace wraps his arms across my shoulders, pulling me in against his chest. Kissing my temple, he asks, “Did you have fun?”
I nod as a grin pulls at my lips. “So much fun.”
“Good. Guess what?”
“What?”
“You’re my favorite, too,” he says before taking me in his arms and kissing me hard on the lips. His fingers thread into my hair, and I feel like I’m flying as our lips move together in perfect unison. We haven’t kissed nearly as much today as we usually do, and I don’t want to let him go as his tongue moves into my mouth, deepening the kiss. While I bring my hand up against his face, I replay the conversation from earlier and it worries me.
I can tell he wants more from me, that he may very well be in love with me, and I don’t know how to handle that. I don’t know how to feel about it. While it excites me, gives me the chills, and makes me want to do a giddy dance, it also makes me want to run and hide. Because…can it be real? Can he be real? Can what we are feeling be real?
The reason I’m asking is because the last two weeks have been a whirlwind of happiness. When I say I wake up happy, I do—like super happy. And sometimes that makes me think I can skip my meds, which is huge because I need them. But when I’m with him, I feel like I don’t. It almost seems like a fairy tale. I mean, we spend every free moment together. And even that may not seem like enough time together to us, so we try to make more time for each other. I didn’t think I could do it all and still nurture what we have, but I am. Between classes, my gigs downtown, and those at the coffee shop, we are making it work. That might change in January when I start my internship with Empress Records, but he promised me it wouldn’t. That we will find the time to just lie together, which is my favorite thing to do with him. My head against his chest as his heart thumps against his ribs.
I love the sound of his heart. It’s so strong, and I swear it is the beat of every song I write. Boy, have I written a lot. I write about him, about the way he makes me feel, and how happy I am. It’s so freaking different than writing about wanting to run a blade across my skin just to make it bleed. Or how picking up the shards of my heart is hard when all I want to do is cut my body with them. I’m happy. Honestly happy, and I don’t ever want to feel anything but happy.
I’m sure that means I have to keep kissing this man for that to happen.
I have no problem with that.
Pulling away, I run my fingers along his jaw as he looks down at me, his eyes burning into mine. “I’ve missed kissing you all day.”
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
He winks. “Smart girl.”
Grinning, he kisses my nose before reaching for the door. Returning his grin, I get into the car and he does the same before we are off. Unlike on our drive over here when I was analyzing everything he had said before, we talk animatedly with each other. More about Angie than anything, but I still can’t shake what he said. I know I owe it to him to give him more information than I have so far, but it’s difficult. I don’t know how to give him all of me when some parts of me are so damaged, I’m not even sure they are worth giving. How do I explain what I did? How do explain what Caleb did? Will I seem weak? I mean, I was. And man, what if I tell him I’m on meds? Will he be disgusted by me? Think I’m pathetic because I can’t function without medication to steady me? I don’t know, and that’s what worries me so badly.
I love how we are right now.
And I don’t want it to end.
But he wants more. Not only has he basically said it, but I can feel it.
“The douche my sister was married to, Rick… Man, we all hate him,” he says as he hits the interstate to get back to school. “He cheated on her with like four different women while she was pregnant with Angie and then he started a relationship with his now-wife after Angie was born. He left my sister on Angie’s third birthday. I truly thought my dad w