“So I’m gonna keep my distance.”
“Cool, I support this decision. But I’m gonna need you to let it go because we have a game tomorrow and we are winning, Sinclair.”
Grinning, I bump shoulders with him. “Got you, Reeves.”
“Okay, hit me up if you need anything. I’ve got class, and then I’m meeting Mekena for dinner.”
“Mekena?” I ask, waggling my brows at him, and he rolls his eyes.
“Dude, she’s hot. But really, let’s be honest. I’m a junior, she’s a freshman—it probably won’t last long. Unlike you and Avs.”
I like that he thinks Avery and I will last. I pray he’s right. But those marks are still screaming in my mind. Flashing at me, telling me something is wrong. Swallowing back the emotion in my throat, I nod. “For sure. I’ll holler.”
“See ya.”
As he veers off from me, I tuck my hands in my pockets to keep away the chill. While yesterday was a nice, hot day, today Old Man Winter has decided to make his debut. I doubt he’ll stay long, but jeez, it’s cold. As I walk, though, the weather doesn’t keep my attention for long, and soon Avery is back, front and center. As she always is. I usually have a plan for everything, but the fact that she has done anything and everything to keep me from seeing the marks on her thighs makes me believe it is a sore subject. One she isn’t going to tell me about freely.
As I turn around the Art building to get to the coffee shop, I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m remembering all the times she pulled down her shirt or used a blanket to hide behind. Or a pillow, or hell, even me. I mean, all the signs were there, and I never noticed them because I was too hung up on her. All she had to do was look at me, lock me in that gorgeous gaze of hers, and it was like a Mack truck had run me over. I can’t let her do that anymore. I have to know the truth, but it sucks because I know she isn’t going to tell me what happened willingly.
And that isn’t right.
Is it?
Shit.
This is supposed to be easy, great, even. But I’m stressing because I know this is going to put a wedge between us. She already had one hell of a wall put up between us, and I just ignored it. I took what she gave me and I fell. Hard. But now I want the part of her behind the wall, and it turns out it’s a huge fucking wall. Like Great Wall of China huge, and I’m unsure if I can get over that thing.
Not without her help.
And I don’t see her lending a hand.
Walking down the strip, I feel like so much is sitting on my chest. I’m nervous how tomorrow is going to go with my whole family under one roof. I’m worried about Avery and our relationship, and then there’s the fact I have interviews coming up. I’m usually not too concerned with them since I’m amazing and everyone loves me, but they are my future. Plus, everyone is razzing me about breaking my record from last year. That shouldn’t worry me, but what if I don’t? What if I’m declining at nineteen years old? I don’t feel like I’m declining, but shit, could I be?
Man, I need sleep.
I do. I’ve never gone this long without a full night’s sleep. But all I can think is that if my dad does fuck me over, I have to have something to fall back on. I have to study because what if I don’t make the draft because I could be declining. I need to graduate. Shit, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel like everything is a fucking mess?
“Hey, you.”
Coming to a halt in front of Avery to keep from running her over, I feel my eyes go wide and she laughs. Letting out a breath, I say, “Shit, I didn’t even see you.”
She grins jokingly. “Well, thanks!”
I run my hands through my hair. “Sorry, out of it.”
Her brows come together as she looks up at me. I can see her grin falling and worry filling her face. Damn it, I didn’t mean to do that. Shit. I need to get it together, fast.
Before I can say something, who the hell knows what, she says, “Um, yeah, I’d say so since I’ve been standing in front of you for the last minute and you haven’t kissed me.” Wringing her fingers together, she looks up at me through her lashes, unsure of herself. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I say quickly, taking her face in mine and dropping my mouth to hers. Holding my wrists, she melts under my kiss, and man, it feels good. She feels good. I needed this. I needed her mouth on mine to make me feel normal and not like I’m losing my shit. Pulling away, I lean my head to hers, my eyes closed as I suck in a deep breath. “I needed that.”
She smiles, h
er eyes searching mine. “You okay?”
I nod, even though it’s not true. I’m the furthest thing from okay, but can I tell her that? What if she has her own shit she’s dealing with? Fuck, why won’t she just let me in! Letting out a breath, I shake my head. “Just a lot on my mind.”
“Wanna share?”