What happened to this being easy?
Or is it me?
Am I making it hard?
Am I expecting more than I should?
She looks away, biting on her lip. Sucking in a breath, I watch as she wrings her fingers together, tucking them between her knees. “Avery, what do you want?”
She doesn’t answer me, just moves her fingers in and out of each other, working her lips as she shrugs.
“Do you want to be with me?”
She looks over at me, her eyes full of frustration and tears. “If you have to ask, then why are we doing this?”
“Really?” I ask, my gaze narrowing. “Is that you trying to push me away?”
She looks away, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I want all of you!” I yell, making her jump. “Every single fucking part. Damaged, whole, dented, cut, all of it! Just give me you.”
She doesn’t say anything at first. As she looks out the window, I can see her lip wobbling as she blinks the tears back. She’s killing me. How can I love someone so much but be so mad at them too?
“I am yours, all of me,” she says softly as she turns, and my chest aches as I get lost in her eyes. Reaching out, I take her face in my hands, leaning my head against hers. Moving my nose along hers, I suck in a deep breath.
“Baby—”
“No, I’m sorry, Jace,” she whispers, pulling back to look at me, her eyes full of remorse. “You’re right. I should have told you but, it’s just… People tend to use me for who my brothers and my dad are. It sucks, and I wanted to come here and start over. Just me. And I guess I just wanted you to like me for me.”
I can understand that. I mean, her family is hockey royalty and now knowing who they are explains a lot. How can she shine when her brothers are taking all the light? But it isn’t fair, and she should have been treated better. I know she wasn’t, though, not only from her words but because her brother Matty is a Class-A asshole. Full of shit little fucker that I love knocking down a few pegs when I’m on the ice with him. We had to play together once, and it was the worst championship of my life. If my brothers tease me for being a puck hog, they haven’t played with that dick. It was horrible, and I can’t believe someone as gorgeous and beautiful as she is could come from the same womb as that jerk-off.
Kissing her forehead, I lean back, studying her. “Avery, I do like you for you. From the moment I met you, I have. Nothing can change that. No one matters but you.”
Leaning her head to mine, she closes her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
That time she meant it. Swallowing hard, I tangle my fingers in her hair as our noses move together. “Okay.”
She presses her lips to mine, and I kiss her back. I pray this is it. That nothing else will come between us like this. Just from this one argument, I can tell she doesn’t do conflict well. She shuts down, and I really don’t ever want to watch that happen again. I know it will, though. That’s a relationship, but man, I just want to make her happy. After a year of shit, I want this to be easy between us.
“I don’t like fighting with you,” she whispers against my lips, reading my mind like always.
“I don’t either,” I say softly, my eyes burning into hers. “Just open up, Avery. That’s all I want.”
“I know, and I’m trying.”
“Good,” I say, holding her gaze. “And that’s it, right? Your mom isn’t the queen of England or something, right?”
She grins as she shakes her head. “No, she’s a stay-at-home mom.”
“Okay. So that’s it? No more surprises down the road, right?”
She pauses for a second. I almost think she’s going to say more, but instead, she shakes her head. “No, nothing else. What you see is what you get.”
I smile as I gather her in my arms, my lips against hers. “Well, what I see is definitely what I want.”
I just hope it doesn’t burn me in the end.
“Do you think I’m good enough to start querying to record labels?”