Clipped by Love (Bellevue Bullies 2)
Page 42
“Mandie? What the fuck?!” she yells as she covers her naughty parts.
The same naughty parts I wanted. Mandie then slams the door and I close my eyes, completely hating the good guy in me at the moment. Sucking in a breath, I lean against the wall, smacking my head against it.
I just royally fucked up.
“What’s going on?” Jude asks me and I shrug.
“I couldn’t do it.”
“Why?” he asks, dumbfounded by my response. “You two have been foreplaying all day.”
I nod, running my hands through my hair. “We’re drunk, and it doesn’t feel right.”
He leans against the wall beside me and nods slowly. “Well, if it didn’t feel right, then I’m glad you didn’t do it.”
“I should have told her that. Instead, I just left,” I say softly, and I’m sure Jude can’t hear me. The music is pounding in the house and people are so loud. I have no clue how I’m going to sleep. Not only from the noise but also because my bed probably smells exactly like her.
“You didn’t tell her?”
“No, I just went to get Mandie. I don’t trust myself to tell her no,” I say with a shake of my head. “I couldn’t say no if I went back in there and she was naked, waiting for me.”
“Yeah, that would be hard,” he agrees, cupping my shoulder. “I think you did right, but she may not think that way.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about,” I admit just as the door opens. Mandie comes out first, and the look she gives me lets me know that my worries are sound. When Baylor comes out, her face is red and she’s holding her bikini in her hand. It’s obvious she threw her clothes on, even her hoodie is on backward, her hair’s a mess, and she looks beyond mad.
Looking over at me, she glares. “You couldn’t tell me you didn’t want to fuck me? Had to go get my friend to kick me out of your room?”
I come off the wall, expelling the breath I was holding. Lifting my hands in a calm-down manner because she looks like she is about to come unglued, I say, “It isn’t that I don’t want to fuck you, Baylor, it’s not right, you’re drunk.”
Her eyes narrow even more as her face burns with resentment. “I think I know if I’m unable to have sex! I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if I didn’t want it!”
“I understand that, but it didn’t feel right.”
“Didn’t feel right? Could have fooled me!”
“No, I mean,” I say, but then I pause, letting out a breath. I don’t want to spill my guts in front of my brother or her friend. Jude may think he knows me and gets me, but not the way I feel Baylor got me. “It just isn’t right. Didn’t feel right. We’re drunk.”
Her hands turn to fists as she takes a step toward me, glaring, “So you’re too big of a fucking coward to tell me yourself. You have to send my friend in.”
Biting into my lip to keep it from moving, I know I can’t tell her the truth. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. She’s too mad. She’s completely ignoring the fact that I think she is more than a one-night stand. It would only make her madder, I can see that.
“I didn’t think you’d leave.”
She takes a step back, almost like I hit her, her eyes blazing into mine. “Why, because I’m so drunk? I thought maybe this was different, I thought you were different, but no, you’re just like every other fucking guy, using me for a good time. But the plot twist is that, unlike any other guy who would fuck me and throw me to the side like you were supposed to do, when it was time to perform and get it done, you bitch out on me.”
“I’m not like other guys,” I try to say, but she is shaking her head and her body. She is so drunk, she’s wobbling, and I can’t believe I let it get as far as I did. I should have walked her home; I should have never kissed her, even if I would have regretted it the rest of my life.
“No, you are, just… What, couldn’t get it up?” She’s slurring her words, and I know she doesn’t mean them.
Looking away, I shake my head. I won’t allow that to get under my skin. I could get it up, she could feel it, but it wasn’t right. She wouldn’t remember any of it, and I want more than that.
“Don’t be a bitch, Baylor. I’m trying to be a good guy here.”
“Good guy? A good guy would have done this in private. Instead, you brought my friend into it, embarrassed me, and now you can’t even look me in the eye as you reject me!” she yells, and when I lift my head, I see that more people are watching us.
Covering my face, I can’t believe this. I didn’t want her to feel like that, and when I look up into her hazel eyes, they are swimming with tears.
Fuck me.