Jayden: Bring him too.
Me: ’Cause that would go well. Dad, let’s go to Sinclair’s for Christmas.
Jayden: Yeah, make sure to throw in that my mom is making pie and he’ll be down.
Rolling my eyes, I lean my head back and run that through my head. I really do want to go to Jayden’s. I haven’t seen him in a week since he and Jace went home for Christmas break. I was worried that I’d be completely alone, and I considered talking my dad into going to Arkansas for the week so I could see Delanie and he could see some of his friends. But then Markus’s mom and dad went on a cruise, leaving him behind. He doesn’t seem bummed by it, but I would be. That’s kind of shitty to me, but he said he doesn’t have that great of a relationship with them. Since that seemed to have some kind of backstory and he didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t push. I just told him to come stay with us. It’s been great too. Dad and he get along like peas and carrots, talking game and watching hockey together while I just tag along. It’s been nice, but I do miss Jayden. A lot.
Ever since that night the weekend of Thanksgiving, our relationship has changed. It seems more intense now to me because, when he looks at me, I know he loves me. I also know he wants to scream it in my face and ask me if I’ve fallen too. He hasn’t said it since, though, but I know it. I can see it all over his face, and sometimes I worry that people know too. But then a part of me doesn’t really care anymore.
Because I’ve fallen too.
I know, great, right? But two problems. One, I’m not sure how to tell him that without being weird. Like how does one do that? Hey, by the way, I fell for you. Or hey, you’re great, I love you, guy. Or do I just yell it at him? I have no clue, and it freaks me out every time I think about it or even when I go to say it. I’ve never told anyone but my dad I’ve loved them, and even with him, he tells me first. So, yeah, I’m a little stuck here.
Then there is the issue of said father. He’s been drilling me like crazy with hockey, and he keeps telling me I seem distracted, and he might be right. I mean, I’m in real love with a real dude who loves me, but I don’t think my game is suffering. Still though, I listen to him and I’ve been working my ass off, but I really don’t think I need to throw that at him right now. My interviews are supposed to start the first of the year, and Jayden’s are going great. Dad has been throwing a good word in every chance he gets, and I can’t mess that up. He’ll probably have an aneurysm and try to force me to break it off with him.
But I won’t.
I’m doing this. For…like, ever. I hope.
So, I just need to wait for the perfect moment to tell Dad.
And to tell Jayden I love him.
Jeez, the men I love are freaking headaches.
Looking down at my phone, I press my lips together and type him back.
Me: Rain check.
Jayden: On Christmas? That’s shitty.
Me: I got you next Christmas.
Jayden: That’s a good long while from now. A year to be exact.
Grinning, I type back quickly.
Me: Yup, already got you penciled in.
Jayden: You should just write my name all over the calendar.
Me: Like a little schoolgirl?
Jayden: Yeah. J&B 4eva.
Me: Jayden’s girl.
Jayden: Baylor Sinclair <3 <3 <3
Jayden: Whoa…too far?
Laughing, I shake my head even though he can’t see me.
Me: Eh. I’m rolling with it.
Jayden: Whatever, ur probably pissing your pants.
Me: Kinda.