I Never Let You Go (I Never 3)

I concentrate on my walk, now worried that I will trip, so I don’t pay attention to everyone in the pews staring at me. My gaze goes from the floor in front of me to my brother. I smile at Kyler and Zach as I take my place on the altar. I can’t believe my baby brother is getting married. It seems as though just yesterday, Kate and I had tricked him into climbing into the dryer in search of candy, and now he is a man starting the next chapter of his life.

Kate and Haylee have joined me on the altar when the music changes.

“Please rise,” the minister announces to the crowd. Everyone stands and turns to face the door where Dani and Adam are about to walk through, but I focus on my brother. Today is the happiest day of his life. He looks handsome in his tux, but the best part about him is his smile. It reaches his eyes, and those brown eyes just like mine have tears ready to spill over when he finally sees his bride making her way to him. It’s incredible the amount of love pouring out of him right now. Dani and Kyler are perfect for each other. We knew something about her was different from the day he met her. We’ve never seen Ky so smitten with anyone else. And when he finally brought her around to meet Kate and me, we could see exactly why.

I fight back the tears threatening to spill from my own eyes—a combination of happy tears watching them ready to profess their love for each other, but my heart hurts for a moment, for I think back to the one I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with. You would think after ten years the love and the hurt would fade. But my broken heart hurts just as fresh as the day it shattered. I tried seeing other people, but no one ever compared to him. Will I ever feel that way again?

Emme makes the cutest gurgling noise in excitement as her grandparents hold her, drawing my attention to her and causing a smile to form on my lips. She is so sweet. I can see why Ky is so taken with her. That little girl has Zach and Haylee wrapped around her finger. Who am I kidding? She has all of us wrapped around her cute little fingers. I love being a pseudo aunt. That’s the thing about our group of friends—it doesn’t matter if we are blood related or connected through marriage, we are all still family.

I observe Dani’s parents, Adam and Kelly, smile at each with so much love in their eyes as they watch their daughter get married. Adam even places a kiss to the top of his wife’s head, showing his love to her. My eyes travel across the aisle to where my mom stands alone. Of course he’s not here today. Why would he be? Does he even know his son is getting married today? As if Mom knew I was thinking about her, about him, she turns her attention away from the bride and groom and gives me a soft smile, which I return.

There are so many people here today to celebrate Dani and Kyler. I am just about to turn back to focus on them when my eyes meet the same brown eyes that haunt me in my dreams at night—Griffin Reynolds.

What is he doing here? How is he here and our own father isn’t? Our eyes lock, and it’s like I’m assaulted with the memories of our past, the love we once shared, and the love we lost.

Last night at Haylee’s house for our girls’-night sleepover when Dani said maybe I would find a nice man to meet and fall in love with at her wedding, I meant what I said.

“A love like yours and yours”—I glanced back and forth between Dani and Haylee—“is rare and not found often.”

“Maybe you’ll find yourself a handsome single man at the wedding and get your happily ever after,” Dani responded, not knowing anything about my past that I’ve kept hidden.

“Nah. I had my once-in-a-lifetime love before, and it didn’t work out.”

My chance at love had come and gone. So why am I seeing this man who held and crushed my heart in front of me – after all this time? Why here? Why now?

Maybe he isn’t really here and it’s just my subconscious thinking about him on a day filled with so much love. Yeah, that’s it. I close my eyes quickly, but when I open them again, he is still there, staring at me, the corners of his lips tipped upward. I suddenly feel a nudge and break our staring contest.

I turn to see Kate narrowing her eyes at me, making sure I pay attention as my brother

and Dani recite their vows. I feel his eyes on me though. How did I not sense him before? The church feels as though it’s beginning to close in. It’s one of those moments when you are too scared to move, except this time I’m terrified to not move; it’s just that I’m stuck. It would be frowned upon to pull a Runaway Bride and bolt the church. I nervously adjust my hands over the ribbon on my bouquet base as Dani and Kyler are officially announced husband and wife and have what some may say a kiss way too hot for God’s house.

The tears threaten to fall as I catch one last glimpse of Finn as I turn to watch Dani and Kyler walk down the aisle. After Zach and Haylee and Kate and Bennett have left the altar arm in arm, it is now mine to turn to walk down with Ky’s other groomsman, Hunter, walking right past Finn.

Hunter extends his elbow to me. “You okay,” he asks softly.

I link my arm through his and smile. “Yeah, just weddings get me all emotional.” He nods before searching the crowd for his girlfriend, Aria, and smiles at her as we begin our journey to meet up with the rest of the wedding party. I focus on the bride and groom celebrating at the end of the aisle instead of turning to see his eyes still on me. No matter how much I want to run up to him and demand to know why he is here, today is not about me, it’s not about him, or us. Today is about Dani and Kyler, and I won’t be responsible for ruining their wedding.

When our eyes locked during the ceremony, my entire world tilted on its axis. Every feeling that I have ever felt for this woman came rushing at me like a tidal wave. I am pretty sure my heart skipped a beat. Her look of surprise makes me believe that my attendance was kept a secret from her, but in my defense, I hadn’t planned to be here as my mother’s plus one—life just had other plans. After my father passed away suddenly, Mom contemplated changing her RSVP to a no, but I stepped up and offered to take her. I could put on my big-boy pants and attend the wedding of my ex-girlfriend’s brother and see her for the first time in years.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. In a church of over a hundred people, it was only her I saw, and all of the nerves melted away as I watched her gracefully walk up the aisle.

I didn’t take my eyes off her, even once she turned back to Kyler and his bride. I watched her smile as she exited with a man I didn’t recognize. The way her smile lit up her face, I wonder if that guy took my place in her heart. Did she give him what was mine?

I was thankful the bar was already open as I impatiently waited for the bridal party to make the entrance. Would I be able to stand here and watch someone else spin my girl around on the dance floor? I sipped on a beer to calm my nerves as the bridal party danced their way into the reception to “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News. Lauren and her escort were both smiling and laughing. I would give anything to be the one on the receiving end of that smile.

A weight lifted off my shoulders, and I could finally breathe as I discovered that Lauren was not with the groomsman she walked in with because I watched him lock lips with a blonde holding the flower girl. I know Lauren and I got adventurous in the bedroom, but I am pretty sure she’s not into sharing.

The reception has been incredible so far. I can’t believe “Little Kyler Lawson” is married. Although he’s not that little anymore—we’ve all grown up. Between watching Kyler get launched in the air, Dirty Dancing style, and learning that in my absence, he experimented with some cross-dressing, he seems to have done quite well for himself.

The last wedding I’d attended was my sister’s, and it was interesting. It’s not that it was the happiest day of my sister and her new husband’s life that resonated with me after all this time, but the talk my father had with me. I had spent too much time at the bar, and I began rambling how love was for suckers and a lie—that two people who are meant to be together was complete bullshit.

“Finn, I won’t let you ruin your sister’s wedding day. Let’s step outside and talk while you can sober up.” My father escorted me outside to the terrace overlooking the golf course where Chase and Kelsey had gotten married. I ran my hand through my hair before leaning my elbows against the railing.

My father took the spot next to me and placed his hand firmly on my shoulder.

“I know you still hurt, Griffin.” The clipped tone of his voice and the use of my full name sobered me up quickly. “But you can’t keep going on like this.”

“I still love her. She’s the one,” I openly admitted. I’d never denied my feelings for Lauren.