I Never Let You Go (I Never 3)

She snuggles in further, laying her head back on my chest, and I wrap her up in my arms and place a kiss on the top of her head.

“You really came to Seattle?” I ask her. We haven’t allowed us time to talk about the past yet. Maybe that had been our mistake before, that we were so focused on the future rather than the past.

“I did—six weeks after you left. I was miserable here. The distance between us was growing, and I just wanted you, nothing else mattered. I flew out there, ready to fix things. I was so excited to get us back to a better place. I was prepared to fight, I was prepared to make up, but what I wasn’t prepared for was seeing you with your arm around another woman.” Another woman? What is she talking about? Lauren explains more of what she saw, and I hate that she can remember this day so vividly. And then as if the imaginary light bulb goes off in my head…

Six weeks after I left.

Blonde walking down the street with me.

The day I bought Lauren’s engagement ring.

Courtney and I were on our way back to the apartment complex. It was a beautiful day out, and I loved that I lived in the center of everything. I took advantage of walking in the city often.

I turned to her. “You really think she’s going to like this?”

“Finn, while I haven’t met her, you’ve talked nonstop about her since you arrived. I can tell that she loves you. Why she said no, I don’t know. I mean you’re a great guy, but this ring is a symbol of the love you two have for each other.”

I slung my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to me. In the few weeks I’d gotten to know her, I’d come to love this girl, just like I loved my younger sister. She called me out on my shit, similar to how Kate used to, and told me all the time that I needed to make it right with Lauren. I loved that even though Court had never met Lauren, she talked about her as if she had known her for years. I thought the two of them would really hit it off. I couldn’t wait to get Lauren out here to meet them.

Court rested her arm around my lower back. “Plus, if she doesn’t like the ring, you can always give it to Jax. I’ve been hinting for a while.”

I threw my head back in laughter as we approached our building. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

I opened the door for her, and she paused before entering.

“Finn, it’s all going to be okay. She loves you and you love her. That’s all that matters.” Court then pressed up her toes and kissed my cheek.

I smiled down at her. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.” We then entered our building, and I searched for flights home.

I was in the middle of planning our forever while she was reliving the nightmare of her past. My heart breaks into a million pieces as I try to imagine what Lauren went through. If our roles were reversed, I’m not sure how I would have handled it. I hold her tighter.

“You just looked so happy, and I thought I fucked it all up and lost you.” Little does she know that the smile on my face wasn’t because of Courtney; it was her. I had just bought the ring I was planning to put on her finger.

I explain who Courtney was and what I remember from that day, leaving out the fact we came from a jewelry store. Her arms around me tighten as if she never wanted to let me go, and I’m okay with that.

“Baby, I am telling you the God’s honest truth, it’s only ever been you. Ten years and no one could compare to you.” I go to continue when I feel something wet on my chest. “Are you drooling on me?” I joke, but when I lift her chin, I see that her eyes are glassy with tears.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” How did things take a turn so quickly?

“No, I’m fine.” She wipes her tears, and I adjust her in my arms. “I was just lying here thinking about all the time we missed?

?all the moments we’ve missed over ten years. If I had known that me saying no was going to lead to the end of us, I would have said yes. I should have said yes. I wanted to say yes.” She would have said yes. I stare at her and process that thought as she continues. “I was so caught in my head with fear that we would turn into my parents, but you aren’t him. There were so many what-ifs running through my head. I should have fought harder for you. I was just scared.”

I cut her off from continuing, pulling her up into my lap. She settles, straddling her thighs on the outside of mine. “All that matters is that you and I are here now.” We can come up with endless what-ifs, but none of them matter anymore. What matters to me is that Lauren is mine. I love her, and while she hasn’t fully admitted it yet, I know she loves me.

“I am never going to leave you, Lo. You are stuck with me.” I cup her cheeks so that she reads my lips, but she pulls back out of my grasp.

“But you did leave me,” she barely chokes out.

“I know I fucked up. I should have told you I was leaving but that I would be back. It all happened so fast, and I thought I could quickly fly to Seattle, do what I needed to do while giving you the space you needed to figure things out, and then come back and get the girl. But it almost backfired and I nearly lost it all. When I heard your voicemail, I was sitting in the airport, and I couldn’t get to you fast enough.” I plead with her so that she understands that I didn’t leave her on purpose, and the air shifts between us.

“You didn’t lose me.” She shakes her head and runs her fingers through my hair, tugging gently on the ends. “I’m right here. I didn’t need long to figure it out, only because I already knew you were what I wanted; it just took my head a little longer to catch up to my heart.” The nervous, scared woman from moments ago has been replaced with this confident woman with a loving heart, who means the world to me.

She looks down at our naked bodies and the way they fit together, her hair now falling in her face. When she looks back at me, I swipe the hair out of her face and smile. With my hand gripping the back of her neck, I fuse my lips to hers. I capture her moans as I kiss her. My hands travel down her body, and I feel her physically shiver.

I break the kiss, and she drags her nails down my chest in protest. I groan and lift her hands as I thrust my already hardening cock against her pussy. “I love that I still affect you this way,” I breathe in her ear.

I palm her bare breast, earning another moan from her mouth. I lean down and suck on one of her hardened nipples. Her hand goes to the back of my head, clinging me to her body. I continue my assault on one breast before moving over to the other. Her pussy is now dripping and sliding along my cock.