“Is everything okay? Dani’s not here right now, but why don’t you come inside.”
Hmm, I wonder where she went. Now is not the time to try to pick the brain of my so-called best friend. I’m not sure I could figu
re her out these days even if I tried.
“Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you.”
“Of course. Is everything okay? Come on in.”
“Is it okay to sit out here and talk?”
She nods and closes the door behind her. We walk over to the porch swing. Oh, if this swing could talk…actually I’m not sure I want to hear the stories. This swing has been a place we all have laughed, cried, and pretty sure made out with someone on at some point in our lives. I take a seat next to her.
“What’s on your mind, Hails?”
I reach into my bag and grab my two acceptance letters, one to the University of Southern California and the other to the University of Pennsylvania. I hadn’t planned to apply there, but my parents had convinced me that it was good to keep my options open. In my mind at the time, I knew I wouldn’t need a backup—USC had always been my number one—but I humored them and applied. I guess the joke’s on me now that I got accepted to both, and I’m at a fork in the road to decide where to go.
When I saw the acceptance letters waiting in our mailbox, the first thing I wanted to do was call my brother. The joy I knew I would always feel holding that envelope in my hand instantly fell to sadness, and I felt myself gasping for air in a panic. Now that the deadline is finally here, I need to force myself to make the final decision.
“What’s this?” Kelly takes the letters out of my hand and briefly reads them both. “Oh my God, Haylee! That is wonderful. Congratulations.” She pulls me into her arms in a tight hug, not one full of sorrow or feeling sorry for my loss, but full of love and pride. “Your parents must be so proud.”
I pull back from the hug and look down at my joined hands. “Honestly? I haven’t told them yet. My mom was having a really rough time the week the acceptance letters arrived, so I’ve been hiding them in my room.”
“What?! Why not? It’s great news, sweetie, and we could use all the good news we can get around here.” Her smile fades.
I’m sure her mind has drifted to all we have endured lately. I still wish I could wake up from this nightmare.
“I just…I…” I start.
Kelly places a hand on mine, giving me strength and letting me know I can take my time to gather my thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, I continue. “You know that it’s always been my dream to go to USC, but after everything that’s happened, I don’t think I can leave Mom and Dad here alone. I mean, I know you guys are here, but they already lost one child.” I fight the tears forming in my eyes.
Kelly pulls me back into an embrace. “You can’t base your decision off of that. Your parents will be fine. You need to decide on your own, and know that we all will support you no matter what you choose.” She cups both of my cheeks so that I look in her eyes. “You hear me, Haylee? Only you can make your decision, and if you choose to stay or choose to go, we will all be right here with you.”
With her hands still on my cheeks, I nod. I finally give in and exhale, knowing that I made the right choice coming here. My phone vibrates, and I look down to see Zach’s name. I choose not to answer it.
“Well, I better get back home. I guess I just needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my actual parents. They’re kind of all over the place these days. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up with them without possibly causing another potential meltdown.”
I bite my lip to fight back the tears, and Kelly sees the look in my eye and knows that if she pulls me into a hug, I will lose it. Fuck, I would like to be able to go one day without getting upset and missing my brother.
Instead of pulling me into her arms, Kelly leans over and kisses my forehead. “I’m here for you always, Hails. I mean it. We all are. The only way we’re going to get through this is by sticking together. I love you, sweetie. Come by anytime.” We both stand, and as she heads back toward the door, she stops and turns back to me. “But don’t use the doorbell—that was just weird.”
We both laugh, and she goes back inside and I walk down the front porch steps back toward my car.
My phone vibrates again with Zach’s photo appearing. This time, I answer.
“Were your ears burning or something?”
“Umm, hello to you too. No. Wait, what does that even mean?”
“Well, usually it means that someone was talking about you, but I’m at your parents’ house and just got done talking with your mom, so maybe you just sensed me being here, but that’s…kinda weird.”
He lets out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s weird, but all right. No, I’ll be heading that way this weekend. Just thought I’d check in.”
Oh man, this is starting to get ridiculous. Enough with the checking in. If he wants to call, then he just needs to call. I hate it that when he says he’s checking in. It feels forced, as if he’s waiting for me to break.
“I’m fine.” Simple as that.