Colton scurried off, and I turned my displeasure on Ava. We were close enough that I could see the way the lights from the chandeliers reflected in her eyes, like tiny star-beams streaking across an endless night. Her lips parted, lush and wet, and an insane desire to find out whether they tasted as sweet as they looked gripped me.
“You ran off my dance partner.” Her voice came out breathier than usual, and my cock jerked at the sound.
I gritted my teeth and tightened my hold on her until she gasped. “Colton is not a dance partner. He is a womanizer and a slimeball, and it’s in your best interest to stay far, far away from him.”
It would be in her best interest to stay far away from me too, and the irony wasn’t lost on me. If she only knew why I’m in D.C…
But fuck it, I was okay with hypocrisy. It didn’t even crack the top ten of my worst traits. “You don’t know what’s in my best interest.” The star-beams morphed into fire, sparking with challenge. “You don’t know me at all.”
“Is that so?” I guided her across the floor, my skin prickling from the strange, electric charge in the air. It was a thousand needles piercing my flesh, searching for a weakness. A crack. A doorway, however tiny, through which it could slip and jumpstart my long-dead, long-cold heart.
“Yes. I don’t know what Josh tells you about me—if he tells you anything at all—but I assure you, you have no idea what I want or what’s in my best interest.”
I paused, causing her to stumble into my chest. My thumb and forefinger grasped her chin, forcing her to look up at me. “Try me.”
Ava blinked, her breaths coming out in short, shallow puffs. “My favorite color.”
“Yellow.”
“My favorite ice cream flavor.”
“Mint chocolate chip.”
Her chest rose and fell harder. “My favorite season.”
“Summer, because of the warmth and sunshine and greenery. But secretly, winter fascinates you.” I lowered my head until my own breath skated over her skin and her scent crawled into my nostrils, drugging me. Turning my voice into a hoarse, sinful version of itself. “It speaks to the darkest parts of your soul. The manifestations of your nightmares. It’s everything you fear, and for that, you love it. Because the fear makes you feel alive.”
The band played, and the people around us whirled and danced, but in this world we’d carved for ourselves, it was silent save for our ragged intakes of breath.
Ava shivered beneath my touch. “How do you know all that?”
“It’s my job to know things. I observe. I watch. I remember.” I gave into my desire—a tiny one—and traced her lips with my thumb. A shudder rolled through us, our bodies so in sync we reacted the exact fucking way at the exact fucking time. I brought my thumb down and tightened my grip on her chin. “But those are shallow questions, Sunshine. Ask me something real.”
She stared up at me, those eyes liquid chocolate beneath the lights. “What do I want?”
A dangerous, loaded question.
Humans want a lot of things, but in every heart, there beats one true desire. One thing that shapes our every thought and action.
Mine was vengeance. Sharp, cruel, bloodthirsty. It had bloomed from the bloody corpses of my family’s bodies, inking itself into my skin and soul until my sins were no longer mine but ours. Mine and vengeance’s, two shadows walking the same twisted path.
Ava was different. And I’d known what her true desire was the moment I set eyes on her for the first time eight years ago, her face shining and her mouth stretched into a warm, welcome smile.
“Love.” The word floated between us on a soft gust of air. “Deep, abiding, unconditional love. You want it so much you’re willing to live for it.” Most people thought the biggest sacrifice they could make was to die for something. They were wrong. The biggest sacrifice someone could make was to live for something—to allow it to consume you and turn you into a version of yourself you didn’t recognize. Death was oblivion; life was reality, the harshest truth that had ever existed. “You want it so much you’d say yes to anything. Believe in anyone. One more favor, one more kind gesture…and maybe, just maybe, they’ll give you the love you want so desperately you’d whore yourself out for it.”
My tone turned biting; the conversation made a U-turn and headed straight for harsh and brutal.
Because what I admired most about Ava was also what I hated about her. Darkness craves light as much as it wants to destroy it, and here, in this ballroom, with her in my arms and my cock straining against my zipper, that had never been more clear.
I hated how much I wanted her, and I hated that she wasn’t smart enough to run away from me while she still had a chance.
Though let’s be honest, it was already too late.
She was mine. She just didn’t know it yet.
I hadn’t known it myself until I saw her in Colton’s arms and every instinct raged at me to tear her away. To claim what belonged to me.
I’d expected her to grow angry at my words, to cry or run away. Instead, she stared at me, unflinching, and said the most unbelievable thing I’d heard in a long, long time.
“Are you talking about me, or are you talking about yourself?”
I almost laughed at the sheer ludicrousness of the statement. “You must have me confused with someone else, Sunshine.”
“I don’t think I do.” Ava stood on tiptoes so she could whisper in my ear. “You don’t fool me anymore, Alex Volkov. I’ve been thinking about it, the way you noticed all those things about me. How you agreed to look after me, even though you could’ve said no. How you stayed in to watch those movies with me when you thought I was upset and let me stay the night in your bed after I fell asleep. And I’ve come to a conclusion. You want the world to think you have no heart when in reality, you have a multilayered one: a heart of gold encased in a heart of ice. And the one thing all hearts of gold have in common? They crave love.”
I tightened my grip on her, equal parts furious and turned on by her foolish, stubborn goodness. “What did I tell you about romanticizing me?”
I wanted her, but it wasn’t a sweet, tender kind of want.
It was a dirty, ugly want, tainted by the blood on my hands and a desire to drag her out of the sunshine and into my night.
“It’s not romanticizing if it’s true.”
A growl slipped out of my throat. I allowed myself to hold onto her for one more moment before I pushed her away. “Go home, Ava. This isn’t the place for you.”
“I’ll go home when I want to go home.”
“Stop being difficult.”
“Stop being a jerk.”
“I thought I had a heart of gold,” I mocked. “Choose a side and stick to it, Sunshine.”
“Even gold can tarnish if you don’t take care of it.” Ava stepped back, and I tamped down the ridiculous urge to follow her. “I paid for my ticket, and I’m staying here until I decide I want to leave. Thank you for the dance.”
She walked away, leaving me in fuming silence.
* * *