I hadn’t been there when Ava almost died, twice. I’d been too blind to see the truth about our father all those years. I’d looked up to the man, did everything I could to make him proud. And I’d all but pushed Ava into Alex’s arms because, once again, I’d trusted someone who ended up betraying me.
In the end, Alex and Ava’s relationship worked out, but I would never forget the months when she walked around like a shell of herself. Quiet, withdrawn, and devoid of the spark that made her her. Every day, I woke up fearing I would find her the way I’d found our mom—with too many pills in her stomach and not enough will to live.
All because I was too goddamned stupid and placed my trust in people I shouldn’t have.
I knew it technically wasn’t my fault that Michael tried to kill Ava, or that my mom committed suicide, or that Ava fell in love with Alex. But that was the thing about guilt. It didn’t give a damn about facts or reason. It sprouted from the tiniest seeds of doubt, slipped through the cracks of your psyche, and by the time you realized what the ugly darkness oozing through your veins was, it’d already burrowed itself so deep you couldn’t dig it out without losing a part of yourself.
“Josh.” Jules’s voice sounded muffled and far away. “Josh!”
It was louder and clearer this time, enough so it yanked me out of my thoughts and back into the sun-drenched terminal.
I blinked, my heart slamming against my ribcage with such force it rattled my bones. “Yeah.”
The notch between her brows deepened, and something akin to concern passed through her eyes. “I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes. Are you…okay?”
“Yeah,” I repeated. I raked a hand through my hair and forced myself to take deep breaths until my heartbeat slowed to a normal rate. “Just thinking about some things.”
It was the lamest reply I could’ve given, but Jules didn’t call me out on it. Instead, she stared at me for a minute longer before she flicked her eyes over my shoulder and said, “Alex and Ava are here.”
I twisted my head in time to see the couple in question come into view.
“Hey!” Ava broke away from Alex and hugged me. “You’re on time.”
“Why does everyone think I’m not punctual? I am,” I grumbled.
I swear, you’re late to one party and suddenly everyone thinks you make a habit out of it.
“Sure.” My sister patted me on the arm before she addressed the group at large. “You guys ready to board?”
“Yep.” Jules stood and tossed her empty drink into a nearby trash can. “Let’s do this.”
She and Ava fell into step ahead of me and left me with Alex, who I greeted with a stiff nod. “Alex.”
“Josh.” His face was blank, per usual, but the tense set of his shoulders suggested I wasn’t the only one who had qualms about this weekend.
I could only hope we all made it out intact.
* * *
By the timewe landed in Vermont an hour and a half later, I’d drowned my anxieties about the weekend with two mimosas, hold the orange juice, courtesy of the private jet service.
A black Range Rover waited for us outside the airport, which was only a thirty-minute ride to the resort, and Ava spent most of the drive detailing the resort’s luxury amenities: a world-class spa, two gourmet restaurants, the famed triple black diamond, and a bunch of other things I tuned out.
All I cared about was the ski trail. My first triple black diamond. It was going to be epic.
I was itching to drop off my luggage and hit the slopes, but unfortunately, we hit our first snag before we even checked in.
“What do you mean, the lodge is occupied?” Icicles dripped from each word as Alex glared at the poor front desk assistant. Henry, according to his name tag.
“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Volkov, but it appears there was a mix-up in the system, and we double-booked this weekend.” Henry gulped. “The other guests arrived last night and checked in.”
“I see.” Alex’s voice dropped another ten degrees. “So where, exactly, are we supposed to stay, considering I already shelled out a considerable sum of money for the Presidential Lodge?”
Henry gulped again and tapped furiously on his computer.
Ava tugged on Alex’s hand and whispered something in his ear that caused his shoulders to relax, though he kept his glare pinned to Henry.
I leaned against the counter, not dumb enough to open my mouth while Alex was on the warpath. Even Jules was silent, though that might be because she was too busy eye fucking some guy across the lobby.
I gave the guy a quick once-over. Blond hair, unnaturally white smile, the same pale blue shirt and khakis as the rest of the resort staff. I’d bet my last dollar he was a ski instructor. He just had that annoying, eager look.
“Put your tongue back in your mouth, JR. You’re drooling.”
“I don’t drool.” Jules smiled at Ski Bro, who smiled back.
Irritation curled in my stomach. It was the resort’s grand opening weekend, and he was loitering in the lobby, flirting with guests. Didn’t he have a job to do?
“There’s one VIP lodge left,” Henry said. “The Eagle Lodge isn’t as big as the Presidential Lodge, but it has the best view and the same amenities. Of course, we’re happy to refund you for the difference in pricing as well as include a complimentary meal and spa gift card to make up for the inconvenience.”
If Ava weren’t here, I was sure Alex would’ve ripped the guy a new one, but all he said was, “How much smaller is the Eagle Lodge?”
“It has two bedrooms instead of four. But the couch in the living room can be converted into a bed,” Henry hastened to add when Alex’s brows lowered.
“It’s fine.” Ava placed a hand on Alex’s forearm. “It’s just for the weekend.”
Alex’s nostrils flared before he acquiesced with a short nod. “The Eagle Lodge is fine.”
“Great.” Henry’s relief was palpable. “Here are the key cards…”
I shifted my attention back to Jules while he gave instructions on how to get to the lodge.
“You done having sex in the lobby?”