“Do not weep, sweetheart.” He paused and caught a teardrop on his thumb. “I know I’ve given you precious little reason to believe me, but I meant every word I just said. I love you, Em. I never expected it to happen. From the moment I saw you on the dais at The Garden of Flora, I was drawn to you. There is a connection between us that is deep and powerful, one I’ve never felt before with another. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it.”
“I thought I did. But you were using me.”
Aye, he had been. At least, that had been his intent.
Another stinging burst of anger with himself hit him. “I intended to use you. You aren’t wrong about that. I’ve no defense save that I was desperate to find out what happened to my missing brother, and I’d been told your father was involved.”
Her brow furrowed. “My father? How? Why? I do not understand.”
Nor did he. All this time Loge had been gone, and weeks had passed since Hart had gone to see Archer Tierney, and he still was not any bleeding closer to finding out the truth.
“You know I’ve a brother, Logan,” he said slowly, knowing he needed to explain as much as possible to her. He owed her that much. Hell, he owed her everything.
She nodded. “The one you lost. Lily mentioned him to me.”
“We don’t know he’s lost for certain,” he explained. “I’ve been determined to find him. Since he disappeared, I’ve been searching for him, asking questions, paying for information, anything I could do to find him, and that’s how I learned a moneylender was with my brother the last day he was seen alive. The moneylender led me to your father. He said my brother went to your father to collect a debt and never returned.”
Her eyes went wide. “You think my father had something to do with your brother’s disappearance?”
He had thought so. But after speaking with his brothers, he was beginning to question everything. He had put a great deal of confidence in Tierney, a man he could not trust.
“I don’t know what to believe any longer,” he admitted. “I did when I bought your father’s vowels. I did when I called them in with plans of using you against him so I could get the answers I needed about my brother. My aim was to use you as a bargaining tool, so I could be assured of the truth. Letting all London know he had sold his daughter’s innocence at a brothel would have destroyed him, you, and your sisters.”
Emma’s gaze searched his. “Why did you not simply seek out the Runners with your suspicions?”
“I know from experience that an East End gaming hell owner ain’t going to be believed over a bleeding earl.” He shook his head. “Suttons look out for their own. I was going to do everything in my power to find Loge, one way or another, regardless of who I had to destroy along the way.”
“Including me,” she said quietly.
“Including you,” he agreed. “But then I met you. I met an angel who was brave and bold, who had sacrificed herself for the good of her sisters. Who cared about me and my family in a way no other has, and who tended to me when I was wounded. That angel stole my bleeding heart. She owns it now, to do with it as she likes. I love you, Em.”
More tears glittered in the brilliant depths of her eyes, studding her lashes like gems. “But what of my father? What about his debts to you, all the plans you made?”
“I’m going to return your father’s vowels to him. His debts will be nullified,” he said.
The concession was difficult for Hart; it left him with the same visceral ache he’d felt in his gut the day he’d learned Loge had vanished. It felt like surrender, like suspending the hope he would find his brother. It felt, in short, like a betrayal to one person he loved in exchange for another he loved.
But it was necessary.
He knew that.
He could not sacrifice what he shared with Emma, or the chance for a future with her, for the mere possibility the earl would lead him to Loge.
“You truly intend to do that?” she asked. “You are going to rescind your demands of repayment?”
He nodded. “Aye.”
“For me?”
“For you. Because I love you.” He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “I love you, and I want you to be my wife, if you’ll have my sorry hide after all this. I know a baseborn East End scoundrel ain’t worthy of the daughter of an earl. You’re too bleeding good for me in every way. But I promise you that I’ll always love you. And I promise you I’ll always protect you. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”
“You love me?” Her hands settled over his where they cupped her face, her touch warm and soft. “Do you mean it, Hart?”
“Can you doubt it?” He kissed her then, unable to resist covering her sweet lips with his. “Of course I love you. Can you forgive me for what I did? I have no excuse, save that I was desperate to find Loge. What you overheard when I was speaking to my brothers was me telling them what I had done, and telling them I could not go through with using you against your father. I would sooner cut off my own bleeding arm than ever hurt you, love. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it until it was almost too late.”
“I forgive you.” She stroked his hands with her thumbs, the reverence of her caress filling him with hope. “I love you too, Hart.”
He kissed her again, the hope blossoming, chasing the shadows, the worries, the fears. He had not given up on finding Loge, but he would not use Emma as a pawn in so doing. She kissed him back, her lips clinging to his.
When he lifted his head, they were both breathless. “Will you marry me, Em?” he asked. “Will you be my wife?”
She smiled, and she was so damned lovely, she stole his breath. “Oh, Hart. I was prepared to be your mistress. Of course I will be your wife.”
Gratitude and love swelling in his chest, Hart kissed her again.