Chapter Four
Jaxon
"I…" Jessa stares at me in obvious shock, speechless. She looks so fucking cute with her cheeks blazing red and her blue eyes wide. She doesn't even have to say a word to confirm my suspicions…or hopes. Hopes is more apt, I think.
Jessa Jordan is in love with me.
I expect her to try to talk her way out of it, for her to run like a scared little rabbit again.
"Okay," she says instead, squaring her shoulders like she's preparing to go into battle, effectively shocking the shit out of me. I expected her to dismiss me out of hand.
Yet again, she does the exact opposite of what I expect. And I know all the way down to my bones that it cost her a hell of a lot to do it. She's as brave as she is sweet. And equally as scared. I think she's been running from me for so long it's become pure instinct now.
She isn't running now, is she?
Thank God.
"Eat your burger, baby," I murmur, locking in her agreement before she thinks better of it and tries to wiggle her way out. "I'll explain while we eat."
She rolls her eyes like she always does when I tell her what to do. I believe I'm what she calls a bossy pants man. Apparently, she doesn't like bossy pants men. But her hard nipples say something different. So does the fact that she always does what I say.
I know that's because she feels safe with me. She knows I'll take care of her. Knowing that makes me feel like the hero I've been called for so long. It's strange. Nothing I've done in the name of God and country has ever made me feel as amazing as I feel knowing my rabbit trusts me.
So why the hell is she so damn afraid to admit how she feels?
"My team was shipped out on a mission right after I found out about Charles Concord," I explain when she takes a big bite of her burger. "I figured I'd deal with things here and then get back to them. It didn't work out that way. There's too much that needs attention here. It was either give up the SEALs or let thousands of people lose their livelihoods. So I didn't re-up when my contract expired."
"I'm sorry," she says, reaching out to squeeze my hand. "I think it's really selfless of you to sacrifice something you love to make sure your father's board doesn't start selling out en masse, risking everyone's jobs." She wrinkles her nose. "I guess they're your board now, not his."
"Yeah," I mutter, exhausted just thinking about the mountain now resting on my shoulders. If this is how Atlas felt trying to hold up the world, he was a tough son of a bitch because this shit is not easy. I've been running full out for six months, and I'm still struggling to learn it all.
Daniel Fox may be a pain in my ass, but he's a useful pain in my ass. There's nothing he doesn't know about the business. He's one hell of an assistant. Thank God I convinced him to stay on instead of taking a position with Justice Foster in Wyoming. Justice is…interesting. He's one of a bare handful of men I've met in the last six months who I didn't immediately loathe. He's been helpful as hell, truth be told.
"My decision wasn't selfless, rabbit," I murmur before taking a bite of my burger. With the egg on top, it's delicious. "I didn't sacrifice anything."
"You never call him your dad," she says, dodging the subject.
"Charles Concord wasn't a father," I growl. "He was a soulless bastard who left me his fortune to prevent his board from dismantling the company he loves. I was just a means to an end for him."
"You're handling it better." She eyes me, a ghost of a smile twisting at her lips. "You seem less likely to burn it all down yourself. I was really worried about you the night you came over."
"The night I tried to kiss you."
She nods.
"Being angry won't change anything," I say. "My mom is dead. I can't ask her why she never told me Charles was alive. I can't ask him why he left me to rot in foster care after she died."
Hell, I can't even ask how long he knew she was dead or why he walked away from us in the first place. The only two people who had answers are dead. My choice is made. Being pissed won't change anything, and I've got too much shit to do. Why waste energy I don't have?
"I'm sorry," she says.
"It is what it is," I murmur, not wanting her worrying about me. "It's not all bad."
"What's your favorite part of being a billionaire?"
"This right here."
She wrinkles her nose at me, confused.
"Being able to do what I want when I want. No one argues with you when you're a billionaire. They just let you do whatever the fuck you want. If you're eccentric, you're allowed because you have money."
Her expression clears, her lips lifting into a sweet smile. "Are you saying you're eccentric, Jaxon Archer?"
"You mean you can't tell?" I tease her, stealing one of her fries off her tray. She immediately steals one of my onion rings. "I'm the most eccentric of the bunch."
She laughs at me before cramming my onion ring into her mouth so I can't take it back. And that right there? God, I missed that the last six months. Being around her is as easy as breathing. She makes everything better simply by existing. I feel lighter around her, unburdened, like that playfulness of hers seeps into every cell in my body, putting it all back to rights.
"Why have you been running from me, rabbit?" I ask, reaching out to brush crumbs off her bottom lip. It's so soft, so plump. I've fantasized more about just kissing this girl than most men fantasize about fucking, I think. I want to know what that sweet mouth tastes like so badly I'm willing to do all kinds of shady shit to make it happen.
She swallows the onion ring with an audible gulp and then takes a sip of her drink. Her blue eyes lock on mine, full of worry. "I don't want to make your life harder," she whispers, frowning. "You're a billionaire now. You don't need me."
"What the fuck?"
"I mean you don't need me complicating things for you," she quickly clarifies. "And it would be complicated, Jax. If we…gave in. You need someone who knows the lifestyle to help you, not your best friend's overweight sister."
"Bullshit," I growl.
She gapes at me.
"You may have convinced yourself that you've been avoiding me because you don't want to make my life harder," I say, "but we both know that isn't the real reason. You've never been worried about fitting in a day in your life. You know you were made to standout. Everyone else knows it too. Those curves make me hard enough to hurt, baby."
"Jax," she whispers. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"Why not? They're true."
She snorts.
"Do you have any idea how many times I've gotten myself off thinking about you, Jessa?"
Her gaze flies back to mine, genuine shock crossing her face. "You have?"
"Damn near every day since I met you," I growl, reaching for her hand. I drag it toward my body, moving my tray out of the way with my free hand.
She gasps when I press her hand to my hard cock.
"Every time you're near me, I'm like this," I growl, trying not to come just from the heat of her hand pressed against my aching dick. I've wanted her hand there for so damn long, this is heaven and hell at the same time. "Every time you smile at me, I'm hurting for you."
"Jax," she whispers again, awe in her voice this time.
"What are you hiding from me?" I whisper back, scooting closer to her. I turn my head to the side, burying my nose in her hair. She smells so damn good. Feeling her body trembling against mine is heaven. "Why are you so afraid to tell me how you really feel?"
"Because…"
"Because why?"