A month ago, all I cared about was getting my education and kicking ass on the mat. Now, I want more. I want Ryan, and I want to experience all the things I missed as a teenager. But the fear of the unknown freaks me out. It isn’t controllable, and that has me on edge. I can control my education and how to move my body to meet the skills I need to get points, but I can’t control what I feel for someone or even what they feel for me.
Is that why I’ve never put myself out there before?
I don’t know, but before I can stress anymore over my inner struggles, the announcer is on the PA, introducing the Bullies to the ice. The place loses its mind, and when Amelia shoots out of her seat, screaming her butt off, I’m left wide-eyed.
And I stay like that through the whole first period.
I have never in my life been to something so extreme. I thought gymnastics was intense, but the fans are nothing like these people. They’re loud, they’re rambunctious, and apparently, at every turn, the referees are complete idiots. I have never been around spectators who hate another team or a group of refs as much as these people do. Don’t get me wrong, my mom has silently cursed a judge before, but she’d never scream the way Amelia does in between trying to explain the game to me.
“That’s a hold! Are you blind? Get your head out of your ass, ref!”
Leaning toward her, I ask, “Can he hear you?”
She shrugs quickly. “I don’t care. He needs to know.”
“Oh, of course,” I mutter as I sit back, still wide-eyed.
Even in my state of complete shock, I can’t keep my eyes off Ryan. He’s the largest guy out there. So tall and so big. His shoulders look wider than usual, and I’m told it’s from his pads. When he slams some dude into the wall, I’m thankful for those pads. I’m sure he is too. His blue eyes shine through the cage that covers his face, and even from my seat, I can see how quickly they move, assessing the situation before he passes the puck to his teammates.
He’s absolutely fascinating.
Even though I have no clue what is going on, despite Amelia’s attempts to explain, I’m too caught up in everything Ryan. The way he moves. His speed, his readiness… I am in awe. If I thought I was digging him off the ice, seeing him knock grown men on their asses and swinging a stick so hard before sending a puck flying toward a goal have me more than a little infatuated with him. I am completely blown away. As I watch him move, his voice carrying over the ice as he yells around his mouthguard, I realize all this game is doing is making me want to spend more time with him.
So much more.
“Oh my God, my brother is kicking ass!” Amelia yells then as Ryan shoves some guy into the boards.
“So that’s good?”
She nods quickly. “So damn good! He is killing it tonight!” I smile proudly as she asks, “Are you having fun?”
“Yeah, just wish I knew more.”
She grins. “You’ll learn. It’s fascinating though, right?”
“Oh yeah!” I yell right as I look up to see that Ryan has the puck. His eyes dart from side to side as he moves the puck with ease. He must not have seen anything problematic because, within seconds, he lines up and lets his stick go. The puck goes flying toward the net, leaving me to hold my breath as I try to watch it move, but I lose it the moment it’s off his stick.
When the crowd loses its ever-loving mind, I realize he has scored.
Amelia is on her feet, screaming and tapping the glass. I do the same since I don’t want Ryan to think I’m not impressed. I am. I just wish I knew what was going on. I wonder if there is a book, Hockey for Dummies or something,because I am pretty sure I am a complete idiot when it comes to this sport. I don’t like that. I want to be involved in this, and I want to know more.
I want Ryan to know I care.
I wait for the freak-out. The something that will hold me back. But when he meets my gaze before bending down for what I think Amelia said is the face-off, his lips curve and my heart kicks up into my throat.
Oh. I’m in more trouble than I could ever fathom.