“This is nice,” she whispers, her lips moving against mine. “It’s something out of a movie.”
“It is,” I agree, moving my other hand up to cup her face. Her eyes widen a bit, and it drives me wild. I feel like she doesn’t expect me to want her the way I do, but I do, and she’s going to have to get used to it. “You’re so beautiful.”
Her lashes fall slightly as she looks up at me through them. “You’re pretty damn hot yourself.” She then pushes my glasses up my nose with her forefinger. “This is amazing, Ryan. Honestly.”
“Just think, I’m only getting started.”
Her breath catches. “I don’t know if I can handle more.”
“You can, so much more,” I say before capturing her mouth with mine once again. She melts against me, as I do her. Even though she’s so much smaller than me, she fits in my arms, against me, perfectly. I crave it.
I crave her.
I move my hand down her ribs before I grab her by the back of her knee and bring it over my hip, wanting to be closer. I slide my hand along her perfect ass, and I want to grab more, but she stills in my arms.
Opening one eye, I find she’s gawking at me. I pull back, eyeing her. She moves her legs back down, biting her lip and looking completely unsure of herself. “What are you doing?”
I thought it was pretty obvious what I was doing. “Getting closer? Is that not okay?”
She seems a little freaked, her eyes are so wide, and her mouth is parted. She shakes her head. “Um, yeah, I don’t know.”
It’s like cold water splashed on me. Man, I’m a fucking dick. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t—”
“No, it’s not your fault,” she insists quickly. “It’s me.”
“Um, okay,” I say slowly, unsure what to say or even how to proceed. She doesn’t move, so I don’t either. We just gaze into each other’s eyes. I swear she’s holding something back. She blinks twice and then brings her lip between her teeth. She almost looks as if she’s about to cry. Girl tears freak me out, so I ask quickly, “Sofia, what’s wrong?”
Her eyes divert to my jaw as she draws in a deep breath. “I don’t know.”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to get close like that. I’m sorry for doing that—”
“Please don’t apologize,” she pleads, her eyes still looking everywhere but at me. “We were getting hot and heavy, making out. It’s what was expected. I mean, you went out of your way to do this for me. It’s only right that I put out. But I’m just a weirdo—”
“Whoa,” I say sternly before pulling back and lifting her face to look at mine. I gaze into her eyes, sorta offended by what she thinks of me. “I did not do this to get in your pants. I did this so you can see I care.”
She presses her lips together, and now tears are gathering in her eyes. Fuck.
“I’m not that guy, Sofia.”
“No, I know. I’m just freaking out,” she says, moving her face out of my hand and sitting up. She leans on her legs, her face in her hands. When her voice breaks, so does my heart. “I’m sorry.”
I sit up, wrapping my arms around her middle and pressing my chin on top of her shoulder. She’s completely still except for the deep breaths she’s bringing in. “Sofia, what’s going on?” She shakes her head, so I hold her tighter. “You can talk to me.”
She turns her head, glancing up at me. When a tear runs down her cheek, I move my finger, catching it to wipe it away. “I feel stupid.”
“Why?” I ask sincerely, catching another tear.
She doesn’t answer me, and as I stare at her, I replay everything that just happened. It’s obvious she’s struggling with this, and if I knew why, maybe I could make it better. When she looks away, closing her eyes, color filling her cheeks, it hits me.
Oh shit.
“You’ve never had a boyfriend.”
She shakes her head. “No.”
Reaching her for her jaw, I turn her face to look at me, but she looks at my lips instead, drawing in deep breaths. “Have you ever been with someone, Sofia?”
And when she closes her eyes once more, I know the answer. “I should have told—”
This time, it’s ice water being thrown on me, but even so, I don’t want her to feel embarrassed or even bad for this. “Why? It’s not my business until you want to tell me.”
She opens her eyes, her cheeks still a dark red as she gazes up at me. “I feel pathetic.”
She is far from pathetic. I mean, yeah, it’s a little surprising that someone as gorgeous as she is hasn’t been with someone. But then it sort of excites me. Will she let me be her first? Do I want to be her first? Shit. That’s a load of pressure. But none of that matters. It’s about her, not me. Stop being a dick, Justice. “You’re not, Sofia, not even kinda.”
She is moving her hands again. “It’s just I didn’t get the opportunity that other girls got. I was training—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself.”
She presses her lips together, her eyes searching mine. “You’re not freaked out?”
I hold her gaze. “No, I’m just glad I know. I don’t want to disrespect you.”
She shakes her head violently. “No, you’ve been very respectful and very gentle. Dammit!”
“Sofia, it’s not a big deal.”
She gives me a disbelieving look. “It’s huge. We all know you’re no virgin.”
I shrug. “I’m not.”
Her face is so red as she speaks. “So you probably want someone who is experienced and knows what she’s doing. Someone who won’t freak when you touch her butt—”
“I want you.”
Her words trail off, her eyes widening. “You do? Still?”