But that’s just lust.
I sigh nervously, and Ryan peeks over to me. “You okay?”
I blink. How in the hell did he hear that? It’s loud as hell in here. Everyone is talking, the twins are arguing over some orange goop with marshmallows, and Shelli and Amelia are yelling about some new makeup. Posey is bored, and Quinn is bitching for more turkey. And yet, Ryan heard my sigh. I nod. “Fine.”
He gives me a sweet smile, and it reaches his eyes, making it even harder to breathe. “They’re all insane.”
My lips curve up into a bright smile. “I love it.”
“You fit here so well.”
He goes back to eating, and I just stare at him. No, I’m losing my damn mind. There is no way he can love me. We haven’t even had sex. You need sex to love someone, don’t you? As I stare at his profile, watching his jaw move as he inhales the orange goop everyone is talking about, my heart swells in my chest. It hurts and shit. Do I love him?
“Sofia, honey,” Mrs. Justice says, pulling my attention from Ryan. “I assumed you’d go home for holidays.”
A sad smile covers my lips. “I wanted to, but it didn’t work out.”
Shea holds up his fork at me. “Why not? I’m sure you miss home, your parents.”
I meet his inquisitive gaze, and I smile sweetly. “It’s just me and my mom, and I miss her terribly. But it’s team rules that we work out over the holidays if we go home. I didn’t have a gym back home to train in.”
“Yeah, she has this awesome sponsor, but they wouldn’t approve a weekend trip,” Ryan adds. “Kind of pisses me off, and she won’t take my money.”
I give him an annoyed look, but Mrs. Justice is staring at me. “Did you ask for a weekend trip? I don’t understand why they wouldn’t approve that.”
“I did, but they said no, that they would only send me for all of break.”
Mrs. Justice’s face twists in confusion. “Well, that’s bullshit.”
“That’s what I said,” Ryan said, and when I glance back at his mom, her brow is furrowed and her lips are pressed together. I’m a little surprised she’s upset by this. Why does she care? “But it’s cool. She’s gonna spend it with us,” he adds and then leans in for a kiss. I press my lips to his, not the least bit shy, and that shocks me. I’m usually so reserved, but I can’t be when he offers me those lips I love. I feel safe here, I feel at home, and I think because of Ryan, I’m comfortable here.
Dinner is going perfectly. Shea is funny and fills the room with his laughter as they reminisce about the kids being little. Elli looks at her husband as if he holds the world in his hands, and I guess, for her, he does. My heart does hurt for Mrs. Justice, though. She hasn’t said much, she only listens, but I can see the pain on her face. She misses her husband, but I think the whole family misses him.
“So, Mom,” Shelli says then, bringing the attention to her. “I have a question.”
“Of course.”
Shelli clears her throat, leaning back in her chair as she holds a roll in her hands. “Would Dad ever ask you to give up your dreams?”
Amelia’s fork stops midway to her mouth.
My eyes widen as my heart stops.
Here? Now?
Oh fuck.
I should stop her, but before I can, Elli is laughing. “Never, Daddy and I always helped one another live their dreams,” Elli says, giving Shea a sweet smile. “Neither of us is better than the other, so we focus on both of our goals as a whole.”
Shelli nods. Wow, what a beautiful answer. Shelli wasn’t kidding; they are relationship goals.
“Cool, so Aunt Grace, Uncle James was like that too, right? He pushed you to make your business a success?” Shelli asks then.
Mrs. Justice looks up from her food, a small and painful grin on her face as she nods. “James’s main concern was for me to succeed. He sometimes put his own dreams aside for me. That’s a real man right there.”
Elli nods. “Preach, sister. Your daddy’s done that plenty. While I ran the team, he stayed home with y’all.”
“And the gray hair is evidence of that,” Shea includes, and everyone laughs. I happen to think he’s sexy with that gray hair, not that I’d ever tell Ryan that.
“That’s what I thought,” Shelli says softly, her eyes meeting Amelia’s across the table. “So, I guess, Amelia, tell me again how Drew is doing what any man would do?”
Ryan is eating, not even the least bit aware Shelli is about to drop one hell of a bomb.
Amelia’s lips press together as the adults all look to her.
“What?” Mrs. Justice asks, but Amelia shakes her head.
“Nothing. It’s nothing. Shelli is being dumb.”
Shelli glares. “No, actually, I’m not.”
“Shelli, shut up.”
“No, explain it to me.”
“Why are you doing this? You’re my best friend.”
“You’re damn right, I am,” she throws back at her. “But you are being an idiot and not listening to reason. To the truth.”
“Girls, what the hell is going on?” Mrs. Justice says, and Elli sits back in her chair to wait for the answer.
“Shelli, what are you talking about?”
“It isn’t your business,” Amelia says through gritted teeth.
Shelli doesn’t seem to give two shits about that. “Well, since Amelia won’t say it, and she sure won’t listen to me, maybe y’all can help.”
“Oh shit,” I mutter, and Ryan glances over at me.
With his mouth full, he asks, “You good?”
He notices me but not the shitshow that is about to go down at the table?
I nod, though my eyes are wide as I watch Amelia put her fork down.
“Shut up, Shelli.”
“Well, Amelia informed me that Drew has asked her to come to Philly.”
Mrs. Justice’s brows shoot up as Shea asks, “Who’s Drew?”
“Amelia’s ex-boyfriend,” Elli says quickly, waving him off. “Come to Philly? What do you mean?”
“Amelia?” Mrs. Justice asks, but Amelia doesn’t answer, her eyes still narrowed on Shelli.