Cayla sighed. Nick was right, but she still wanted to throat punch him. If she’d known this was waiting for her. She would’ve signed up for the crow special with Felix.
“I used to think Kalilah was bullshitting about the grouch you used to be. She said you were mean because of the things that used to come out of your mouth.”
Nick smirked briefly at the mention of his wife. “Well, I’d get in trouble because all the mean shit I said to her was unfounded. Unlike today.” He looked at her pointedly. “Here’s the thing. The reason why I kept lashing out because I wasn’t taking ownership in my role in everything. Sounds familiar?”
“And guess who got in my face and told me to get my shit together,” Nick added.
“Your dad?” Cayla remembered the whole tricking Kalilah to go to his office situation.
“No, my dad listened to my broken-hearted bitching and provided me a way to talk to her. Dex is the one who yelled at me. Told me I kept finding ways to fuck up things and I needed to stop acting like life only happened to me. Have you heard of Iris?”
“No.” Cayla squirmed in her chair. She hadn’t been scolded this thoroughly since she tried to be one of the bad kids in high school and skipped school to hang out.
“She was a girl he’d met on one of his many trips; he thought they had something real. Until he found out she was engaged to someone else and only wanted him for sex. In her mind, he was just a trust fund kid and player only good for the physical.” Nick looked at her as if he was trying to reach her soul. “Are you catching the parallel?”
“I did not use him for sex!” Nick tilted his head. His whole demeanor said “really?” Cayla took a breath and tried again. “In the beginning, I thought it would be just sex. In my defense, that was the only point he’d made…”
“Was it? I remember him asking you out for Valentine’s, buying you flowers, and trying to take you on a trip.” He had a point. “Give me a chronological break down of your relationship with your rationale.”
“Okay, it was the biggest point he made. I crashed at his place because I was stressed out at work. Then, I’d freaked out and ended up here because I realized my subconscious thought of him beyond the physical.” Cayla sat up straighter because her thoughts and feelings started to fall into order. “Then, I’d lashed out at him when he told me he was moving because I didn’t want him to go. I planned the trip in Austin because I couldn’t stand him not talking to me. I unwittingly embarrassed him in California because Nathan looked like everything I thought I wanted, but I went back over to Dex because…”
Nick leaned in and prompted her to continue. Did it really take Nick speaking to her analytical side for her to have revelations? Of course, he had to do this himself recently. “Because?” Nick said.
“Because I realized Dex was actually everything I wanted.”
“And now?”
“I’m at your house, lost and disheveled after two weeks of moping.”
“Rationale?” Nick asked. Cayla felt like she’d been hit by lightning. Everything was frazzled and fried.
“Because Dex broke up with me.”
“How was that possible?”
“Because I was his girlfriend until I put my foot in my mouth.”
“Why did it matter when Dex broke up with you?”
“Because watching him walk away broke me.” Cayla sniffled.
“Conclusion?”
“I’m in love with Dex.”
Chapter 35
“When you know better, do better.”
“Sir?” Cayla asked her dad.
“Look up that quote by Maya Angelou. I think it will help. I just remember ‘know better, do better.’ I believe it’s a quote about self-discovery. You did all you could with the knowledge you had, now you have to obtain new knowledge and experiences.”
“Meaning?” she questioned with a half-smile as she switched lanes on the freeway.
“Find Dex and work it out. Then see the world. There is so much outside of Texas and the ideal life you’d created in your head when you were younger.” Will looked at her profile. “You’re super stubborn; you get that from me, I’m afraid, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be happily married.”
“I’d already concluded that I am in love with Dex. It took longer than it should, but I’m fully aware now.”