Ready to Die (Alvarez & Pescoli)

“What?” she asked, shocked by his bald declaration even though she’d worried he’d say something like this, do something like this.

“Not all the time, but half,” he amended. “Joint custody.”

“No . . . I . . . why?” She was struggling to keep her fear under control.

“Isn’t that why you told me about the girls now? You expected some kind of help with—”

“I thought I explained all that, Cade.” She snapped back to the moment. “I thought that we, you and I together, would eventually tell them the truth, when they were old enough to understand.”

“They’ll never be that old. Hell, I don’t understand it and I participated.”

“More than willingly,” she reminded.

“No argument there.”

“I want the girls to know their father, that they have a father, and that if something . . . something were to happen to me, then they’d have another parent. They’ve already lost the man who claimed them as their own, and they could be on the brink of losing their favorite uncle.”

He flinched at that.

“Life is short, Cade. We don’t know what’s around the corner, and the girls need someone in their lives besides me, and an aunt who doesn’t care a lick about them, not really, and a grandmother who’s battling cancer. They need you, Cade, yes, just like they sure as hell need me.”

“So you expect me to just stay in the shadows? Pretend that I’m still just their uncle for the next five or six years, and then when they’re into puberty and boys and God knows what else, spring it on them that I’m their father? How do you think that’ll go, huh? If anything, it’ll cause another rift so deep it might not be bridged for years, if then. They’re eight now. Better they find out the truth now, so that by the time they get to junior high, when kids can be really cruel, they’ve already dealt with it. They’ll be used to the situation and so will all the other kids. The gossips in this little town will have moved on to other, juicier, fresh grist to run through the rumor mill.”

“So, what? You want to go back to my house and make the announcement?”

“Yep, I’ll bring dinner.”

“I was joking.”

“I know.”

She stared at him. “I’m not ready for this.”

“I am,” he said. “And who knows? They might just say, ‘We want to spend the night with Daddy.’ Then you can pack them up and send them on their way to the ranch with me.”

She almost laughed. “That’s not going to happen. What do you know about taking care of eight-year-olds?”

“I’m a quick study.”

“What’re you going to do when Mallory wakes up with nightmares, or McKenzie gets one of her wild hares and takes off?”

“I can deal.”

She snorted, worried that she’d just made the worst mistake of her life. And that was quite a feat considering all of the blunders she’d racked up over the years.

He took a step closer to her. “You can’t have it both ways, Hattie. Either I’m in or I’m out. And you’re the one that let me in, so, like it or not, there’s no turning back. Now, I’m going to visit my kids. You coming?” He climbed into his truck, fired the engine, and waited.

At least he didn’t drive off in a spray of gravel and ice, she thought as she anxiously followed him to her place. She parked in the garage while he found a spot on the street, right behind Zena’s Caddy. They met at the front door.

“Okay,” she said, her nerves tight. “But we’re not telling them anything tonight, right? For now you’re still Uncle Cade.”

He hesitated.

“It will be confusing for them, so we need to take it slow. Ease them into it.” She could hear their questions already.

What about my real dad?

Aren’t you still my uncle?