Hard Freak

“Okay, we rehearse,” Jax said.

Soft cock. He totally could’ve overruled her. He’d been in Wreckage just as long as she had. He had equal rights. I never felt like I did, since I’d only been part of the lineup for a short time. If he’d stood up to her, it’d be two against one, and we’d win.

This was all bullshit, or Polly would’ve told us earlier. She might say it was about rehearsing, but it had to be about keeping me away from Crow.

I’d made real progress with him, and now we’d be apart, even if it was only for a few nights. If you’re not moving forward in this world, you’re going backwards. Like when you ignore your Instagram for a few days and lose a thousand followers.

But screw that shit. Polly and Jax could rehearse their hearts out. I’d hop on a train and go to the festival on my own. I hated being controlled. I’d play along with Polly for now, let her think that her bossy-boots attitude had me under control, but the minute we got offstage on Friday night, I’d hop a train to Paris and be far away from her grasp.

This plan was even more brilliant than the last one.

Chapter 7

I LOVED BEING ONSTAGE. There was no denying it. The spotlight on me, the screams from the crowd, the adoring glances, I lapped it all up. I never understood Crow with his stage fright. I had the opposite: a fear of being anonymous.

Every time I walked out on that stage, my feet never touched the floor. I soared above it all. I was made for this. I grabbed hold of the microphone and screamed out greetings to the crowd. I wasn’t sure if what I said made sense, but it didn’t need to.

We thundered into our first song, Polly all darkness and me all light. With every show we’d done, my confidence had grown. I owned that stage now. Tonight, my body buzzed with the energy. The songs practically bubbled out of me. I growled and I purred and I whipped that crowd into a bunch of wild things.

This was where I came alive. In my everyday life, people might say I was too loud and too full-on, but when I got onstage, there was no “too loud” and no “too full-on”. I had a personality made for performing. Damo might get away with that quiet, humble thing, but mostly the crowd wanted to live out their fantasies.

We’d almost finished when I noticed Crow watching me. I didn’t think he’d ever done that before. Normally, he had enough to deal with, trying to get over his nerves before he went onstage himself.

I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. Not while I sang. But I fumbled the words.

I never fumbled. My body froze for a split second. What did I do? That split second seemed like an eternity. Then I blew a kiss to the crowd and kept on singing.

They ate that up. No one cared that I messed up, not one little bit. Well, none of the audience cared. Polly sure wasn’t happy. I couldn’t help it, though.

I couldn’t glance back over to Crow. Not if I wanted to finish our set without screwing up again.

When our set finished, Elijah grabbed me.

“Hey, Firecracker. Getting yourself in trouble without me here to keep you in line?”

“I have Polly to keep me in line,” I told him. “No trouble for me.”

He laughed. I looked around for Crow, but he’d disappeared. Elijah was on his own.

When I got backstage, Polly waited with her arms crossed. We were the only ones back there. Rose and Fiona had gone up to watch the Freaks play. Jax rushed into the room, grabbed a clean t-shirt out of his bag and rushed off again. He had a hot date, by the look of it.

“I’m sorry,” I said, preempting her nags. “It won’t happen again.”

“See now why we have to rehearse more?”

I nodded, looking all meek and mild, and she grinned back. If this rock thing didn’t work out, I could get a job as an actress.

“We should head back to the hotel,” she said.

“Now? With the Freaks still onstage?” We always waited for them to finish.

“Yeah, now.”

I wanted to protest, then I remembered that I had to act all goody-two-shoes. “What about Damo? You’ll miss him out there.”

“I’ve seen him plenty,” she said.

I nodded. I could miss the Freaks playing this once. I had to think of my end game.