Hard Freak

“You’re not beyond redemption,” I said. “Never.”

Crow didn’t look at me, but he squeezed my hand tight. My heart soared. Maybe things could be right between us. The gap that had grown between us could be bridged. Crow had taken the first step.

I let go of his hand. “I’m going to go back to the hotel,” I said. “You two really do need some time alone to sort things out, but after you’ve finished talking, if you want to see me, I’ll be in my room.”

Crow smiled at me. “I’ll come with you.”

“Nope. You’ve only got a short time with Cindy. We have all the time we need.”

I walked out and went back to the hotel with hope growing in my heart. He’d said I was the most amazing woman in the world. All my doubts had been for nothing. We’d work this out. Now that he’d made the first move, every move we made from here on out would be together.

I ran into Elijah on the way back to my room.

“You look happier than you have in a long time, Firecracker,” he said. “Anything I should know about?”

“Yes, I do look happy, and no, it isn’t something you should know about.”

“Oh, I’ll find out. You can’t keep quiet.”

He might be right about that, but this thing was way too new and tender to discuss with Elijah. I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone. I wanted to hold it, examine it.

I got to my room and paced around. I tidied things that didn’t need tidying. I fussed with my hair and my face. Even though I’d wanted to give Cindy and Crow time alone, I wished that he had come back with me. This waiting drove me insane. We didn’t have long until we had to go to the arena. I wanted things clear and certain, and we needed to talk for that to happen.

Then he knocked at my door. I knew his knock without even answering it. Polly bashed and the others banged, but Crow had a quiet knock. Like he didn’t want to intrude but was sure I’d answer anyway.

I opened the door ready to ask him how things had gone with Cindy, but before I could speak, he’d grabbed me in his arms. He squeezed me so tight, I couldn’t speak.

Finally, he let go. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

I sat down on the bed, and he sat beside me.

“I’m sorry, too,” I said. “I shouldn’t have interfered like that in your life. It was none of my business.”

He put his arm around me. “My life is your business, if you want it to be,” he said.

I rested my head on his shoulder. “Still, I should think before I do things. I just cause trouble.”

He laughed. “I don’t think that will ever change,” he said. “It’s not a bad thing. I thought I could walk away from you, but my life without you isn’t worth a bag of shit. It’s dark and empty and forlorn. The things you do, the crazy, impulsive things, are what make you so special. No one should ever change that.”

We stood for a long time, not talking, just holding each other. I could hear his heartbeat, and it seemed like mine beat in time with his. This was not going to be an easy relationship; I’d known that from the start. But I needed him so much, and he needed me.

He’d broken down that barrier to his heart, and I knew how hard that had been for him. The biggest obstacle to our lives together, even bigger than Polly’s fury, had been defeated.

“How did it go after I left?” I asked him.

“We talked. We’re going to catch up when the tour finishes. I’d have never spoken to her again if it weren’t for you, but I should’ve made the effort.”

I really wanted him to stop talking now and kiss me. As though he’d read my mind, he pulled me tighter to him. His lips brushed against mine as though he was scared of breaking me.

“You don’t have to be so gentle,” I said when he broke away.

I pushed him back on the bed and kissed him again, our bodies grinding against each other. We kept on kissing. He kissed my lips and my neck and my shoulders. I kissed him back just as much. Every kiss was like a fresh surprise, something new to discover.

I’d never have stopped kissing him if Polly hadn’t knocked on my door.