This night was not going how I’d planned.
I tried to ignore her as I sang. Just another woman in the crowd, just another groupie. She sure as hell was more determined than the rest, and she had something alluring about her. A mystery that would be worth solving. I’d seek her out after we finished playing but now, while we played, I had no attention to give her.
She got to the front row and leant against the stage, her posture alone a big “fuck off” to me. I wouldn’t look at her, even though she drew me to her. I wouldn’t let her know she was getting to me. There wasn’t a man in the place that wasn’t gawking at her. She was hot and she knew it. But the music had to be the only thing on my mind.
Now that she was closer, it hit me. It took a moment. She’d changed so much, with her hair bleached white blond and her eyes rimmed with black liner, with her body filled out so every man knew she wasn’t a little kid anymore. Still, I’d recognise her anywhere.
Jake McGowan’s kid sister.
That look in her eyes scared me. All that anger and resentment was aimed at me and I had no way of justifying myself. She knew what she knew and she was definitely after something. If I told her the truth, she’d never believe me. The truth wouldn’t redeem me. What she sought was something I couldn’t give her.
The rest of the band joined me. The only thing I could do was blaze into the next song as though she wasn’t even there.
I’d wanted to put my past behind me and start anew. In the back of my mind, I’d always had the worry that things would come back to bite me on the arse but I’d shrugged that thought away. But today was the day. And I never thought vengeance would be wrapped up in such a hot package.
Dee had had a crush on me for as long as I could remember. Hell, you’d have had to be blind not to notice that kid traipsing behind me like a lost puppy. She’d been cute back then. Cute and precocious, and way too young. I had no interest in messing with high school girls, even when I was in high school myself. If I even shot a few words in her direction, she stammered and blushed and ran away.
Even if she’d been older, she was my best friend’s sister. That would’ve been like poking a stick in a hornet’s nest. I had way too much self-preservation to mess with that. Jake protected her like she was a baby bird. Actually, I think Jake liked that she crushed on me. It meant she stayed away from other guys who might not be so hands-off. If he’d still been around, I’d have pitied any guy who dated her. Jake judged all other men on himself and he’d been no saint, sure as hell.
But now, if it wasn’t for those eyes, blazing with hate but still those same eyes, and that curl of the mouth exactly like Jake’s, I’d have never known her.
Even Jake would’ve had his work cut out protecting her now. Firm, perky breasts that were perfectly showcased by the dress she wore. A tiny waist. And the swagger of a woman who got what she wanted.
But, when I looked her, I saw beyond her. I saw that carnage and the mangled steel. I heard the last whimper that Jake made, his body broken, while I lay there without a thing I could possibly do. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t remember that night. I couldn’t think about that and continue playing. I couldn’t only pretend she didn’t exist.
I went into the next song with sweat beading on my brow. I wiped it off with the back of my hand. Even my hands were sweaty, so much so that I was worried I’d slip on the strings, but I made it through the next song and the one after that.
Fabian shot me glances. He knew I was off my game even if the crowd didn’t pick up on it. I was never off my game. I never got distracted and I never let anything reach me when I was on stage. Of course, he had questions.
She hadn’t moved. I wasn’t sure if she planned on staring me to death while I played or what, but she remained rooted to the spot. Normally, some groupie would’ve hip bumped her out of the way in a fight for the front position but no one went near her. She radiated a darkness that held people off. She was still just a kid, really. She’d only be twenty or so. She should be radiating sunshine and girliness but that shadow had made her grow up too fast. And I was the bastard responsible for that.