Before we started into the final song, I took a deep breath. This would be the hardest. It was a song Jake had been working on just before he died. He’d not finished it but I’d worked with Pete to add the music that Jake hadn’t written.
I played the first verse with a sense of satisfaction. This was going better than I’d even expected. The words and the music worked so well together. Perfection. It was a sweet song, much sweeter than the rest of our set.
I’d just started on the chorus when the sound cut out. We kept playing but nothing, only the beat of Ferdie’s drums. Pete and I stared at each other then turned to the sound desk. Alex stood beside the sound guy. I couldn’t see his expression and no one said a word. Even Ferdie stopped drumming.
“What the fuck?” screamed one of the heavy metal guys.
I unplugged my guitar and headed off stage. I’d get my gear and leave. Before I could get to the door though, Alex had moved across the room and blocked my way.
“You are NEVER to play that song.”
“Like hell. I’ll play whatever song I want.”
“I’m telling you —”
“It’s Jake’s song.”
“I forbid you.”
“You forbid me? Just you try to enforce that. What are you going to do about it? Get your parents to write me a big, fat cheque? That’s how you deal with things, isn’t it?”
With that, I pushed past him. I wanted to get my bag and get the hell out of this club. All those feelings I’d had on stage vanished. I was back to being me, nothing had changed. One moment I’d felt like I could fly but now I’d crash back to the ground. With one hell of a thud.
Alex got in front of me, putting his leg on a box to block my way. I kicked his ankle but he just flinched, not moving. So I jumped up on the box, passing him that way.
He grabbed my arms, holding me tightly in his grasp. I struggled but couldn’t get away.
“Listen to me, Dee. You can’t play that song. Ever. Jake wouldn’t have wanted it.”
I kicked out at him. I didn’t want him touching me, I didn’t want his hands burning into my skin.
“Yeah, well you know what else Jake wouldn’t have wanted? To have been killed by some dickhead who shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. I think Jake most definitely wouldn’t have wanted that. Anyway, don’t worry, I’ll never play at your club again, so it’s not like you’ll have to hear it again.”
He let go of me and I went to get my stuff from the band room. The heavy metal guys had started and the thunder of their bass shook through the room. They were loud, I’d give them that. I had no idea where the hell Pete and Ferdie had gone. I’d have liked their support.
“I want you to play here,” Alex yelled after me. He followed me into the band room. “I want you to play. You have undeniable talent.”
“Whatever. I’ll take my undeniable talent elsewhere.”
“I’ll pay you. I’ll put you on a retainer. That’s a helluva a lot more than any band starting out would ever get. I’ll set you up in my rehearsal studio, mentor you.”
I glared at him. He did it. Just like I’d said, he thought he could throw money at this and fix it.
“Just tell me what you want, Dee. Name your sum, so long as you don’t play that song.”
I strode across the small space until I was millimetres away from him. I could sense the beat of his heart, the tension of his body. I wanted to speak but knew the emotions welling up in me made that impossible.
Instead, I smacked him as hard as I could across the face.
“Your money is no good to me. It’s dirty money. ‘Fifteen Minutes of Sunshine’ was Jake’s song and now it’s mine.”
The thud of my heart almost drowned out the noise of the metal dudes on stage. I stood, glaring at Alex. He glared back at me. My chest twanged and it wasn’t just hatred or anger.
“Dee, you don’t know what that song means.”
I stepped closer, forcing him to move back. If anyone was doing the intimidating here, it would be me.
“It’s a love song. Do you know what it means? Have you ever loved anyone, Alex, other than yourself? Have you even given one tiny, weeny fuck about anyone else?”