Rock Revenge: Alex's Story

I didn’t want to think about the new burden of guilt piled on top of the festering heap. I’d been backed into a corner with “Fifteen Minutes”. I’d find a way out though.

Drew sat down beside me.

“Hey Alex, have you thought about letting me play upstairs?”

That was honestly something that had not been on mind for even a millisecond. In the swirling mess that my brain had become, Drew’s musical career could not hold a place.

“Talk to Sally. She handles that.”

“Really? So that’s like a green light from you?”

“It’s not a green light. It’s not a light at all. It’s standard procedure. Same as with any other band.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to Sally then. Hey, are you waiting for Dee to come in?”

I sneered at him, wanting to wipe that grin off his face.

“What makes you think that?”

“Come on, Alex, everyone knows you like her.”

I didn’t bother answering that. I just got up and walked out. I couldn’t even find peace at my own bar.

Then, Friday afternoon, Holden messaged me. He’d sorted everything out for the gig and gave me the details for sound check and the rundown for the night. At the bottom, almost as an afterthought, he added that the new opener would be Dee Cups.

Fuck. That was the worst. We had to play “Fifteen Minutes of Sunshine”. That was non-negotiable. I’d known Dee would find out some time but I wanted to hold off that moment for as long as possible. If she was there, she’d hear it and all hell would break loose.

Underneath that thought, came another petty one that squeezed my chest. I hated myself for even thinking it but that didn’t stop it.

I’d worked my guts out to get this shot. I’d put in years of practice and playing. I’d planned everything. She’d been in her band for minutes and she got to open for a huge gig like this. I wished her well but not that well. It almost felt like she was taking something from me.

The idea burned in my brain. What if she was better than me? She sure as hell was luckier. I hated to think of her as competition but that’s the way it worked. Had she flashed a smile at Holden? Fluttered her eyelashes?

No, she wasn’t the type.

I should be happy for her.

Screw it, if she didn’t like us playing the song, then too bad. I’d worked on it with Jake. He’d have never even thought of music as a serious career if it hadn’t been for me. I’d put the money into the band, even bought him that guitar. The one that Dee played now. Didn’t I deserve something out of that? Hell, how could Dee even prove that he wrote that song, not me? We’d done all the songwriting together. I’d suggested improvements, whole parts of it even. It was as much mine as it was Jake’s.

I’d play “Fifteen Minutes” and, if she had anything to say about it, I’d fob her off. I owed her nothing. She was the one who’d hunted me out when I’d just wanted to leave my past behind. She’d stirred everything up. Hell, for all I knew, she was playing my guilt to get a free ride to the top.

I had to put Alex first and screw anyone who got in my way.

Dee

So far, so good. Good, meaning I’d gotten through sound check and all without laying eyes on Alex. I could fight the urges in my pants so much easier when I didn’t actually see him. No temptation was a good thing. That didn’t mean I could resist searching for his face among the people buzzing around the place though.

I even dragged us out of there straight after our sound check. I could do stuff like that because my feelings for him were nothing. Even if I’d softened in moments of temporary insanity, I didn’t really care. That was just hormones.

It was all fine until we got back to play the actual gig. Each band had their own fancy room backstage. I could get used to that. Holden popped in to wish us luck.

“Not that you need it. You guys are going to kill it.”

“You think so?” I said. My hands were trembling and they got worse the closer it came to stage time.

“I know so.”

He sat down with me and went through some breathing exercises that helped him get ready.

“But go with it. Nerves are a natural thing. Once you get up there, it’ll all disappear.”