Rock Revenge: Alex's Story

God, I hoped so. I couldn’t find my guitar pick. I had a heap of picks but there was one special one I wanted. Things would not go well without it. And, I swear to God, I was getting my period even though it wasn’t due for a week. I’d get on stage and bleed like a stuck pig. I wanted a pad just to be on the safe side but none of those useless guys had anything like that on hand. I told myself it was only nerves but then, stress can cause your periods to screw up.

One of the production chicks came in to see if everything was okay and I pulled her aside to see if she could sort something out.

“No worries,” she said and ran off. Minutes later, she came back and slipped me a liner.

Pete watched the whole thing.

“What was that? Are you scoring drugs? Share them around,” he said.

I opened my hand.

“Top quality panty liner here. Feel free to snort as much as you want.”

The look on his face was worth it. I laughed so much that the nerves vanished. A quick trip to the bathroom and it was time to go on.

“We can do this; we can do this…” I muttered under my breath.

I walked out there, looked at that immense sea of people and my stomach dropped to the ground. I’d die. Then Ferdie started with the drum intro and I grabbed the mic.

The next thing I knew, it was over. We were walking off stage. I had no idea what had happened but Pete was grinning.

“We did good?”

“We did good,” he confirmed.

I could breathe again. Holding your breath through a full set was not good for you. I wanted to grin now it was over. And eat. I could eat a whole herd of horses. I’d been too nervous to eat all day but it was over and we could relax. I was looking forward to seeing Holden’s band play.

As I walked down the ramp to our room, I saw Alex standing at the side stage area. Without thinking, I smiled at him. He turned away. Ouch. That stabbed me right in the heart. Bastard.

When we got back to our room, someone had left us a whole platter of sandwiches. Man, I could scoff the lot. Pete was into the beers but Ferdie fought me for the sandwichy goodness.

“I’m going up to catch the rest of Zero’s set. You guys coming?” Pete asked.

Since the platter of sandwiches was now a platter of crumbs, Ferdie went with him.

“I’m fine. I don’t need to see that.”

Once they’d left though, the emptiness of the room made me sad. I wanted someone to share this moment with. A friend or lover. I sent a text to Sally to let her know I’d done okay but there really was no one else. They were all watching Alex.

Then Carlie came in.

“Here you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Aren’t you up watching?” I’d figured she’d be there with Pete and Ferdie and everyone else.

“Na, I’ve been hanging out with Holden, sorting out last minute shit. Are you coming up to watch?”

Alex’s set would be just about over, so I grabbed a beer and went with her.

As we walked up the ramp, I could hear music. They must’ve just gone into their final song. As we got closer, I realised what the song was. I grasped Carlie’s hand. There was no way he was performing that song.

I ran up the ramp, thinking maybe I’d been confused. But no, there he was, on that stage singing Jake’s song, the one he’d refused to let me play.

Now I understood. He didn’t want me to have it because he wanted it for himself. The song hadn’t been completely finished when Jake had died and I’d added my own touches. Those were gone, replaced by the parts Alex had written, but the core of the song was still Jake’s. Alex had stolen it. That was facts.

Pete had to be around somewhere. I pushed through the bunch of people standing at the side. One woman pushed back and I stumbled but Carlie was right behind me.

I caught Pete’s eye. He grinned. Did he even realise what Alex played? How could he just grin like that? That guy had his own agenda, that much I’d figured.

A rage welled up in me. When I’d played this song, Alex had unplugged the sound desk. He’d controlled me. He’d silenced me, just like he’d silenced justice when Jake died.

But I was powerless, just a tiny girl with no way of fixing this situation. I had to stand by and watch him steal something from me. Not even from me, but from Jake’s memory.