As the bouncer dragged her off, I struggled to my feet. The crowd went from shocked silence to thunderous screams. I had no idea why they screamed. For Dee? For me? Just for the pure pleasure of screaming?
There was absolutely no point continuing the song. It was done. It was all done. The only thing left to me was to leave the stage with as much dignity as possible.
“We ARE Zero,” I yelled into the mic. I gave a salute to the crowd and walked off.
Now what?
Wait for my career to crumble around my feet? Go home and get drunk?
I’d never get another chance like this one. It was all ruined, my life in ashes around my feet. I had to get out, leave it all behind me. Everyone was rushing around, preparing for Holden to get on stage. I could leave without anyone even knowing.
I headed to the green room to grab my stuff. I’d text Fabian to pack up my gear.
Fuck it all.
I smashed my fist into the wall. That made me feel better for an instant. Then realised I shouldn’t risk my hands. I’d grazed my knuckles and the wall had suffered no damage but it’d helped. Then I kicked the wall instead.
Soon, the guys would be back in here, wanting to dissect what had happened. I didn’t want to discuss it. I didn’t want to look on the bright side or make the best of it. I wanted to brood in my own silence.
A couple of staff members rushed past me as I walked out. It was show time for Holden. Everything would be swept away, forgotten, when he hit the stage. I’d only be remembered as a joke.
As I went down the corridor, a door opened. I didn’t really pay attention until I saw Dee come out. She looked like hell. She glanced up. It took her a moment to register who I was. Her eyes looked haunted and she almost spoke, her mouth opening, then closing again. She ran back into the room, slamming the door behind her.
In her eyes, I must be the most abhorrent person alive. She’d already shown that. I never wanted to see her again, no matter how much it hurt because, if she looked at me, it’d only be with that hatred.
Then it struck me.
Had this all been part of her revenge plan? She’d made no bones about wanting to make me suffer. I’d thought of her as so innocent, still just a kid, but she’d played me. She’d got me twisted up inside.
She couldn’t have planned to get the support spot though. Or could she? I’d told Holden to ask Sally – and Sally and Dee had become very chummy.
Maybe I was a sucker. I thought I’d been the one holding all the cards but the only card I held was the joker. I even doubted Pete. He’d been very fast to take my peace offerings.
My apartment was cold, so I pumped up the heat but, no matter what I did, I couldn’t get warm. I’d never be warm again. It was as if all the warmth had been sucked out of the world.
Even if she had planned this, if she’d been that conniving and ruthless, could I fault her? It was nothing more than I deserved.
Dee
Even a brief glimpse of Alex had been too much for me. I’d wanted to get out of here but now I had to wait to make sure he was gone. That’d be even worse than dealing with Pete or Ferdie.
Someone knocked on the door. I ignored it. If it was Alex, coming to try to explain things or talk his way out of this, I had no words for him. I’d knock him to the floor again.
The door opened. It wasn’t Alex, it was Carlie.
“Are you okay?” she said.
I tried to smile.
“Sorry, I made such a mess of things and after Holden had given us such a great chance. I’m an idiot.”
Carlie walked across the road and hugged me. I didn’t know her that well and normally I hated hugs but she made me feel like life wasn’t such a huge disaster after all.
“It’s not that bad,” she said, stroking my hair. “It’s really not.”
I pulled away a little.
“Come on, Carlie. I knocked Alex to the ground in the middle of his song. Well, not his song. He stole that song. It was Jake’s, my brother’s.”
She grinned. “Yeah, and it was awesome!”
“Huh?”
“You should’ve seen him, squirming around like a fish that’d jumped out of the tank. Not able to get up because his pants are so tight. It was in the top ten best moments of my life.”