"Do what, Avery? I know you're scared. I was scared too, but it was just a dream."
The waterfall of tears continues to cascade down her cheeks unchecked; the feeling of loss so utterly powerful that she can't control her reaction.
"Come here, baby," Logan whispers, tugging her into his arms and resting her head on his shoulder.
He murmurs words of assurance into her ear, with the hope to calm her down and it works. Her breaths turn shallow and she relaxes into Logan’s warm hold.
They wake three hours later to the sound of a front door slamming. When she opens her eyes, Avery is met with a beautiful pair of hazel irises. Reaching up with her hand, before she has the chance for her mind to take over, she runs her fingers softly along Logan's jaw of scruff. She had assumed it would have felt bristly, but is pleasantly surprised by its softness.
A moan rumbles low in her throat when Logan's fingers run through her hair and Avery can feel a certain part of him, an already large part, begin to grow against her thigh.
Goodness, he's big.
"If you keep making noises like that and looking at me that way I won't be able to control myself."
Quickly moving her hand from his chin, Avery places it back on his chest, hoping it is safer territory. It's not. When her fingertips brush across his pectorals, a muffled growl grows from deep in his chest and she finds herself suddenly resting on her back with Logan hovering above her, his now generous member pressing against her stomach.
A look crosses his face, a look she hasn't seen before, but it instantly heats her from the inside.
"Avery, I'm going to kiss you now and then you're going to tell me why I'm not supposed to do it again, got it?"
Not offering a chance for her to reply, Logan pursues her mouth as if it's his last meal. At his insistence, Avery opens her mouth to his explorative tongue and meets his every movement. But true to his word they only kiss, even though Logan could overpower her easily and take what he wanted without much fight. His kiss turns her on more than anything she has ever experienced.
When Logan pulls away, Avery has a hard time deciphering the time, it feels like they had been kissing for ages by the bruising she could feel forming on her lips, but at the same time, it feels like time had halted, that there was no one else but them.
"Avery, I need to know why we can't be more than friends."
"Why?" Avery asks irritably. "That's all I can offer you right now or maybe ever."
"Is it me? You just don't want to date me?" he demands, rising from the bed and moving to the chair to pull on his clothes.
Well, this morning has definitely taken a turn.
Sitting up in bed, Avery says to him in annoyance, "No, it's not you. It's not anyone. It's me. I'm not ready. I may never be."
Tugging on his shoes, he comes to stand beside the bed, resting his hands beside her, bringing his face close to hers.
"Then tell me why, Avery. I know you feel this between us. I'm not even romantic and I know that we have something special. Fuck, Avery, I knew you were special when I saw you through the window the night you arrived. I mean, I'm going against everything I ever said about women because I want this with you. So please, tell me why. Tell me what I have to do."
"I'm not ready, Logan," Avery chokes, a muffled sob escaping. "It hurts. It hurts too much to talk about."
Standing up from the bed, Logan moves to her bedroom door, but turns one more time and asks, "Will you ever be ready, Avery?"
Choking on another howl of despair, Avery replies lightly, "I don't know."
Logan hastily nods his head once, a look of confusion and rejection crossing his face, before opening her bedroom door to exit.
He must have run into Nikki in the hallway because Avery hears him say that she may need her.
As the front door closes, Nikki rushes into Avery’s bedroom and holds her close as she continues weeping helplessly.
"It hurts," Avery cries between hiccups. "It hurts so much."
"That's because you guys have something special. I told you that from the get-go. Anyone around you could see it. Don't worry, Avery. It'll all work out. I promise."
Nikki leaves briefly to grab some tissues from the bathroom and wipes Avery’s eyes; she listens to Avery’s dream and offers some insight from a psychology class she had taken in high school.
“Knife dreams - stabbings in particular - can symbolize, guilt, conflict, resistance. Your dream could mean that you feel guilty for wanting to pursue something with Logan and that you’re angry about having to upend your life.”