"Don't think that way. We'll take it slow and go one day at a time, ok?"
"Hmm,” she hesitantly replies. She brushes her fingers along his chest, nervously biting her lip before she continues, “That's not all though. In my grandmother's will, she left me my father's name and address. She said he didn't even know about me. I don't know if I should try to seek him out."
"Well, it's not like you have a time limit. Just think about it for a while, and when you make your decision, I can go with you if you'd like."
"You'd do that for me?"
"Haven't you realized yet that I'd do about anything for you? I've been miserable staying away from you, Avery."
"Me too,” she murmurs quietly. “I'm sorry I have been so stubborn, but I'm so scared, Logan. It's going to take me a long time to let go of the fear."
"Have you eaten?" he asks suddenly, tenderly stroking the side of her face.
She ducks her head and shakes it in response.
"Well, let me make something for you real quick and then I'll run you a bath, ok?"
"You don't have to go through all that trouble," she replies, beginning to rise from the couch.
Finger on her chin, he tips her head toward him and simply states, "Avery, I'm more than happy to," then leans forward and kisses her again.
Damn, she tastes good.
Adjusting himself on the way to the kitchen, he opens up a bottle of red wine that Austin's sister Cassidy had given him for his birthday. Logan brings the glass to Avery where she remains unmoved on his sofa, but she manages to squeak out a thank you.
Back in the kitchen, Logan decides to whip up a quick chicken and pasta alfredo. As he stirs the sauce with a wooden spoon, all the information Avery disclosed churns helplessly through his mind.
My God, has she been through some shit.
Her mother was non-existent; her grandmother abused her and her sister, and worst of all, she had to endure the deaths of her guardian, her sister, and not one, but two fiancés. Even though Logan doesn't want to dwell on the fact that she has been engaged twice, he can't imagine losing two different people that you had once planned on spending your life with. His chest physically aches when he thinks about losing her. His reaction to the dream he had about two weeks ago only cements his feelings for Avery. Logan would be devastated, utterly and completely devastated, if she was no longer in his life.
Lost in his own reveries, Logan doesn't notice when Avery walks into his kitchen and rests against the counter beside the stove. He startles when he hears her sorrowful sigh and he looks into her eyes, seeing the exhaustion written there; not just from today, but from the years of mourning.
"Smells good."
"Thanks, it'll be ready in about twenty. Why don't you go ahead and take that bath and I'll get you when it's ready?"
She smiles, but the creases don't reach her eyes, more like she's acting complacent.
"Great, let me get it ready for you."
Heading into his master bathroom, he fills the claw-foot tub he had Austin install when they renovated the place. It was his understanding that women love these kinds of tubs, and Logan aimed to please. Now he is even more satisfied with his choice knowing that Avery will feel comfortable.
He pours in some vanilla and lavender oils to the water, courtesy of Austin's mom, Amy. When the water reaches a good level, he dims the overheads and lights a few candles. This should definitely help her relax.
Preparing to exit the bathroom, Logan turns to find Avery standing at the entrance; she must have followed.
She murmurs timidly, "You didn't have to go to all this trouble."
Logan walks closer to her and weaves his fingers in her hair; he knows she loves when he does this.
"I am happy to do this for you, Avery."
Leaning forward, she cautiously presses her lips against his in thanks, but as his body is so tightly wound, Logan reciprocates ten-fold. His fingers tighten in her hair, urging her closer. Her hands slip past his shirt and rub against his lower back, eliciting feelings that he knows shouldn't exist right now. He steps back from her embrace and she drops her hands in rejection, but as Logan looks in her eyes he doesn't find anything. No desire, no lust, just emptiness. She's hollow.
"Soon, sweetheart, but not now, not tonight."
Pressing a quick peck to her forehead, he exits the bathroom before he loses any more self-control. The press of her lips against his drives him crazy.