Pride After Her Fall

She wasn’t entirely clear on where he stood with her, either. She’d gone into last night telling herself she had her eyes wide open, except this morning that pragmatism was curdled with a lot of fuzzy emotions she couldn’t quite sort out.

So she settled for lifting onto her toes and pressing her lips to his freshly shaven jaw. Nash smiled, but he didn’t make a move to end his conversation.

When he did it was to say, ‘Ready? I’ll run you home.’

Lorelei couldn’t account for the cold trickle of disappointment that ran through her veins. It was perfectly reasonable that he’d be keen to get a move on this morning. It was after eight o’clock. He probably had a busy working day ahead—hence the phone call. She had to be at the equestrian centre at ten herself. They were adults. There were lives to get on with...

Dinner? Oui, dinner tonight, and then more...of this. This was making her tremble behind the knees and other places where she was tender. But also conversation. They would talk and clear the air and...

But perhaps this was it.

‘Bien.’ She injected a breeziness she suddenly wasn’t feeling into her voice. It wasn’t that difficult—she did it all the time in social situations. ‘Can I drive?’

He pocketed his cell, gave her a wink. ‘No.’

It wasn’t until they were driving out that she fully appreciated she had made a mistake. On their trip last night she had been the centre of his attention. If a meteor had hit the road he would have merely hung a left and driven on, intent only on their mutual destination.

This morning he looked what he was: a busy man with a schedule and not a lot of downtime. Preoccupied, a little tense, blocking her out. She was very clearly being driven home. This was it.

She told herself she was a grown-up. Neither of them had made any promises, and she wasn’t really in any condition to be opening up her life to anyone at the moment...

They were on the corniche when he said, almost casually, ‘I’ve got meetings today and tomorrow. In fact I’ll be held up for the next few days.’ He glanced over at her. ‘How about I call you next week? We can spend some time together.’

Light exploded behind Lorelei’s eyes. It was one thing to tell herself this was the way of the world. It was another to hear him speaking so lightly about the intimacy they had shared... Spend some time together.

For a moment she didn’t know what to say. What was she supposed to say? I thought I could handle one night, but I was wrong. Last night overwhelmed me. I’m feeling emotions I know have no place between us and now you’re telling me you’ll call me... It’s not enough.

Her mouth suddenly felt dry, her throat tight.

‘I know it’s not ideal after last night, but—’

No, not ideal. Nothing about this was ideal.

He looked over at her. ‘I’ve got a lot going on, Lorelei. I didn’t expect this.’

No, neither had she.

He sounded annoyed, but also faintly bemused. Memories of him kissing her so slowly and thoroughly, as if the pleasure of it was all he’d wanted in that moment, assailed her unmercifully. Unconsciously she found herself running the tip of her tongue along the rim of her bottom lip.

Nash shifted restlessly beside her.

Why had she thought she could do this and not be hurt?

‘Or you could call me.’

His voice was almost gruff and she glanced over.

No, she couldn’t call him. How could he possibly think she would call him?

‘Will I?’

Nash looked at her sharply. ‘What’s the problem?’

‘Rien.’ Her voice sounded like a rusty gate. ‘What could possibly be the problem?’

He had the temerity to glance at that big silver rock of a watch clinging to his left forearm. ‘Okay,’ he said slowly, like a man navigating a floor suddenly covered in glass shards, ‘I will call you.’

‘You do that.’ She stared stonily out of the window, a thousand angry words jostling for some sort of order of merit on her tongue.

‘What am I missing here?’ he said, probably not unreasonably.

Bastard! What do you think? I’m just going to vanish out of your life?

She’d grown up hearing those sentiments. Every woman her father had disappointed had flung something similar at him—as if he’d cared.