Don't Go Baking My Heart

He couldn’t just do away with his system entirely. His lists were a big part of his life. For Jeremy to tell him to discard this specific one? He didn’t know. Monica had gotten pissed off at the very existence of it, while Reba had been curious.

“You have this imaginary supposedly perfect woman built up in your mind, based on a past that doesn’t even exist anymore. You realise that, right?”

The question threw him. Was that what he’d been doing? True, the woman who had been the mould for the list criteria wasn’t in his life anymore. Hadn’t been for years. She’d suddenly chosen a path that didn’t make it easy for them to continue a relationship.

“You need to look back on that time with clear eyes. Perfect doesn’t exist, and honestly, you two weren’t even all that suited.”

“What do you mean?” He and Joya had been the perfect couple. No fights or disagreements. Their goals had been aligned—well, until she had gotten an opportunity she couldn’t pass up that took her outside of the Caribbean.

“You were too alike.”

“Yes, that was the good thing about it.”

Jeremy laughed. “No, man. It wasn’t. You were both so focused on everything being fine and perfect with no room for flaws that you put unnecessary pressure on each other. Why do you think she was glad to get that opportunity in Italy or wherever she went?”

“Spain,” he corrected automatically. “That’s not true. We were good together.”

“Nah, she held back a lot. Not wanting to shake things up, cause drama or whatever.”

Joya had looked thrilled about the internship she’d gotten. In fact, he hadn’t even known she’d applied for it, her reason being if she hadn’t gotten it, she didn’t want to have everyone around feel disappointed too. But thinking back on it now, he wasn’t so sure if she’d been a hundred percent honest with him about that. Had she felt like she couldn’t be?

“Did she say something to you?” Devon asked.

“Not in so many words, but if you really listened, it had been heavily implied.”

“Well, shit.”

“Haven’t I been saying I’m the smarter one for years? You can keep being the pretty one.”

Jeremy had been running with that joke since they’d become friends. It was ridiculous, but Devon let him be.

“Listen, I’ll let you go because I know that analytical brain of yours is working overtime with this newfound insight. You’re right, I don’t know Reba, but what I do know is you shouldn’t overthink this to death, okay?”

“I’ll try.” It was the best he could do.

“I’ll leave you with this one bit of advice. Shaking things up isn’t all bad. The drama you’re so afraid of dealing with might actually do you some good. I’m off.”

He stayed on the roof a few minutes after Jeremy’s call. He had always wondered why Jeremy hadn’t seemed so keen on him and Joya. He’d simply chalked it up to his friend not wanting to get heavily involved in his relationship.

He’d thought they’d been well-suited, but had he simply been imposing his ideal on their entire relationship? That was a sobering thought. He had tried to keep in touch with her when she’d left, but after some time, they’d drifted apart. Then there was Monica, who he’d thought wanted the same things as him.

She’d basically screamed in his face about his list. He cringed at the memory. He’d thought that had been a clear sign that she wasn’t truly for him, but was Jeremy right?

Something to actually give some thought to, but not now. No matter what Jeremy said, he had to get his work done before delving deeply into analysing anything else.

His life was shaken up enough by a devil with pink hair.