She tried to think. ‘You...come and visit me.’
‘Occasionally, yes. But occasional visits are not enough, and I think you know that.’
Of course she knew that.
‘Well...why can’t I h-help you out with all those things?’
He frowned. ‘Why would you want to do that?’ He said it as if it was the most mystifying thing he’d ever heard in his life.
Inara found it irritating. He’d never been quite this patronising before. ‘It just seems a little... I don’t know...pointless to go looking for someone when I could, you know, do what ever you need.’
‘But I didn’t marry you for that,’ Cassius said patiently. ‘I married you because you needed protection, nothing more.’
‘Yes, I know that, but—’
‘I will be needing heirs, little one. You do know how children are conceived, don’t you?’
The use of his old pet name for her was both irritating and comforting at the same time.
‘Yes, of course,’ she said testily. ‘Believe it or not, Cassius, I’m not sixteen any more. And even when I was sixteen I knew how children were conceived.’
The calm expression on his face didn’t change. ‘Then you’ll understand why it’s impossible for you to continue being my wife.’
A needle of hurt pierced her; she was so stupid to think he might want her. She’d left herself open for that, hadn’t she? Not that she’d truly thought he would, but a part of her had nursed a faint hope.
‘I didn’t think I was that unattractive,’ she said before she could stop herself. ‘But I suppose if it’s impossible then I must be.’
‘Of course you’re not unattractive,’ Cassius said. ‘But it’s not about your attractiveness or otherwise. It’s about the fact that I still see you as a sixteen-year-old girl.’
It didn’t come as any surprise. He’d always thought of her that way and she knew it.
You haven’t done much to change his mind, though, have you?
No, and she hadn’t because she...well...she just hadn’t. She’d pushed it out of her mind, not wanting to think about when the day would come that he’d need heirs, a proper queen, a life...
A divorce.
But that day was now here and she couldn’t ignore it any longer.
You need to do something.
Yes, but what?
‘I’m not a sixteen-year-old girl, as I’ve already pointed out.’ She tried to sound as cool as he did. ‘I’m twenty-one.’
‘Be that as it may, you are still not a suitable prospect for queen.’
Inara took a couple of steps towards him, annoyed now. ‘That hasn’t been a problem for the last three years. What’s changed?’
His amber gaze flicked down her figure and then up again, lightning fast, but there was no alteration in his expression. ‘I’ve been advised it’s past time for me to start a family. Aveiras needs heirs, and the sooner the better.’
She understood. The country had lost nearly its entire royal family in one fell swoop, so naturally parliament would want to safeguard the royal line. They’d also want a queen who lived at the palace and took part in royal life, not someone who preferred an isolated country manor and spent most of her time studying arcane mathematical problems.
No, everything about this made logical sense and, given that the pathways of her own mind tended towards the logical, there was no earthly reason why she should refuse to give him the divorce he wanted.
Except that the part of herself she’d never understood and had never wanted to think about too deeply, the part that had fallen desperately in love with her husband, didn’t want to.
Her heart wanted to be his queen. It wanted to give him heirs. It wanted to be by his side and support him. It wanted do all the things he’d just said and more, and it was furious he’d even consider choosing someone else.