Those first few months had been the worst. It hadn’t been easy stepping into his brother’s shoes, especially considering the public’s adoration of Caspian and their low opinion of him, and he hadn’t had anyone to help him through it. He’d done it all on his own. But in the end the people had accepted him and, if he hadn’t been exactly what they’d wanted, he’d at least managed to get to a point where he wasn’t exactly what they didn’t want.
Still, Inara was young, and if he could spare her having to go through the same fire he had then he would.
‘What’s upsetting you?’ he asked. ‘You didn’t want a divorce just before and yet now you don’t like the idea of staying married. Care to explain?’
She bit her lip, white teeth sinking into all that plush softness, and the simmering desire inside him grew hotter.
He ignored it.
‘I just...want things to be the same,’ she said hesitantly. ‘I don’t want to leave the Queen’s Estate.’
‘I know you don’t. But the estate will still be here for you whenever you want to have a holiday.’
‘That’s not the point. I’m... I’m....’ She broke off all of a sudden, her misty grey eyes gone dark and stormy. ‘I suppose what I want doesn’t matter at all, does it?’
A part of him understood the note of anger in her voice, because he’d felt the same way at having to take the crown. But some things wouldn’t be helped by understanding and sympathy. The only way through was acceptance, regardless of one’s feelings.
‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘It doesn’t. You can’t put yourself and what you want before your country, little one.’
She paled even further at that. ‘No. That’s...that’s not what I meant.’
‘Then what did you mean? Aveiras needs a queen and, whether you like it or not, that queen is you. Your feelings or otherwise are irrelevant.’
Something passed over her delicate features and then was gone. She looked away, obviously upset.
The tight feeling in his chest constricted further, and he opened his mouth to issue another empty reassurance when she said woodenly, ‘I suppose I’ll have to pack some clothes, then.’
The urge to touch her cheek or take her hand in comfort gripped him, but he restrained himself. Touching her was a bad idea right now. Perhaps later, when they returned to the palace, he’d take some time to allay any fears she had.
So all he said was, ‘Yes, that would be wise. We’ll leave for Katara tomorrow morning.’
‘So soon?’
‘There’s no need to wait. The quicker you’re installed in the palace, the better.’
Her mouth had a vulnerable look to it, and there was a lost expression on her face, but even as the urge to comfort her intensified her mouth firmed and the lost expression vanished. She drew herself up, small and straight-backed, and when her gaze met his there was nothing misty about it. It was all stone and steel.
‘Fine.’ Her voice was hard. ‘I’ll see you in the morning, then.’
Then she turned and went out.