Yes. She had.
Hadn’t Maximus begun teaching her new things? And that made her feel too raw. She couldn’t think about that. Not at the moment. She could only focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Could only focus on the solidity of his strength to her right.
It was nearly like a wedding. They walked up the aisle together, but then he left. For it was not him she would be making vows to, not today. It was her country. Her people.
While the priest handed her a scepter, and a robe was draped over her shoulders, she stood. A blessing was spoken over her, and then she spoke the words of affirmation back, vows promising stability. To honor the people, the country, its traditions. To make progress where it needed to be made. To protect and support and heal. And she meant the words. Every last one of them. Because she had survived for this. Had lived for her country. And when the heavy, golden crown was placed on her head, she felt it fully. For this was her cause.
Not pastries and finding out whatever it was she preferred best to eat, and not sex in the garden. This.
The responsibility hurt. Making her heart ache.
But nonetheless, she finished the ceremony and looked out at her people.
“With all that I am,” she said. “With my life. I will serve.” She swallowed hard, and she pressed on, with words from her heart and not words from a rehearsed script.
For she understood, suddenly. That while she might have to present a certain front, it was her core, who she truly was, that had brought her to this moment.
That had helped her to survive, and to keep her spirit through those long years of captivity.
That had driven her to seek help from Maximus.
Yes, in some cases her choices had felt forced upon her by those who sought to harm her. But it was her strength that allowed her to withstand them.
Not just anyone would have chosen to fly across the world, find the super soldier who had led the mission against her country’s dictator, chloroformed him and forced him back to her country.
Not just anyone could stand here in this moment, after being a prisoner. After withstanding an assassination attempt only a month earlier.
Only her.
Queen Annick.
“We lost much when we lost my parents. You lost a King, and with the death of my brother, the future King. And I know that I, as Queen, am an unknown. But with all the strength I possess, I will lead you. I will honor my father, but we will also push forward. This is a new era. We will not hide here in the mountains, a kingdom isolated. We will embrace technology, connecting with the world as we haven’t done before. We will grow in strength. Not me, not Annick. But all of us. This strength will not be to subdue, but to stand on our own. All of us. Together.”
And then it was done.
“And here now is presented to you,” the priest said, “Queen Annick Lestrade of Aillette.”
She was met with applause, and she nodded serenely, walking back out of the chapel with Maximus meeting her at the door.
There would be a large luncheon after, tables set up in the gardens outside, but she was not sure she could stomach any food. Or being in the gardens. Considering what had happened the last time she was there.
No. She would be strong. She would not trip at this first hurdle that was not even a hurdle.
And so she spent the rest of the day smiling and speaking to whomever wished to speak to her. By the end of it all she felt every inch the symbol. As if there was nothing of the woman left at all. It was an odd sensation.
And then she looked back at Maximus, and she felt... That she couldn’t breathe.
She wanted him. She wanted him again. And it didn’t matter that he had been unkind to her. Didn’t matter that he had abandoned her. That he had said it was for the best. That he had made it plain that he was not going to share with her or be intimate with her again because of...control. Or whatever else he’d spoken of.
What did you survive the dungeon for?
Wasn’t she enough of a reason?
Finding this core of herself, recognizing it, made her ask new questions even now.
Did their arrangement have to be solely for her country?
Oh, she cared about it a great deal. She would serve her country, give her life for it. It was true. But couldn’t she also want something for herself? Couldn’t she have also lived...simply to live? To be touched by a man. As she had been last night. To be able to get married. To be able to have children. To enjoy dresses and makeup.