It was better than fair.
It was love.
Annick was fed up with her own frailty at this point. She had lived through unimaginable cruelties, and she had not fallen apart. But that was the problem.She had not had the time then. Now she was safe, well taken care of and feeling quite ill-used. And she now had the luxury of reveling in it.
She missed Maximus. She missed everything about him. And she was ready to bind her own wrists and present herself in his bedchamber as a gift. For him to unwrap.
“Have a bit of pride,” she said to herself.
She did not want pride. She wanted Maximus.
She lay across her bed, and as if her dreams had conjured him, there he suddenly was. Strong and silent and standing in the doorway, and she remembered what she had thought when she had seen him there in the dungeon. It was no longer bars, but him. He was not a prison, but a strange sort of freedom. A path to the center of herself. To all of her desires.
A man who was strong enough to take her anger, her grief, her joy, her pleasure.
A man who felt created most especially for her, but he did not seem to want to see it.
“What is this?” she asked, sitting up. “Are you here to brief me on military procedure?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m here to tell you... I’m not worthy of you. And I’m... I’m not two separate men. There’s no monster in me. Just me. And it’s been easier to pretend that I had a life in one place that was all its own, and a life in another that belonged to someone different. But it’s all me. I took those missions because it was easier to do something than sit in grief. Because I was afraid of what I might do with my anger if I didn’t channel it into something specific. I kept my old life because I still wanted to be near my family. Because I still loved my father even though I was angry with him. And I never chose another person to love because I never even knew what love was.
“I was young and life was easy, and I fell into something good with a woman who was as light and happy as I was. And now I’ve seen dark things in the world. Atrocities. And knowing about all of that and having the strength to love anyway... Well, I wasn’t strong enough to do that. Or brave enough. It took a woman who had seen as many terrible things as I had to make me want that again. Annick, from the moment I saw you it was something different. It was like you united both pieces of me. You made me have to figure out what it meant to be me. The Maximus King who cared about things. Who enjoyed pleasure. Who enjoyed life. And the Maximus King who was lost in a world of darkness and revenge. Wanting to protect you gave me purpose. And knowing you made me feel things again. Watching you live... I thought I was dead inside, but no. You made me into something so much better than I was even before.”
“We are both broken, eh?”
“It’s not being broken that defines us. It’s love, don’t you think?”
“Do you love me, Maximus?”
“Yes, Annick. I love you. Not like anyone ever before. Not like anything. I love you in a way I didn’t think was possible.”
“Maximus,” she said, flinging herself up off the bed and wrapping her arms around his neck. Kissing him with everything she had inside of her.
“Thank you,” he said. “For kidnapping me. I think you might’ve rescued me.”
“Well, I know for certain that you rescued me. Maximus, whatever you want to call yourself, you are mine. Nothing else matters. I know what you’ve done.” She spread her hands. “But you do not have blood on your hands. Many people were saved because of what you did. You had anger in your heart, yes. But you’re a good man, and you always were. Your anger never took you to a place where you might harm an innocent. You were never a monster. Just wounded.”
“Without all my mistakes, without all the pain, without all that I lost, I would never have made it to you. Whatever else I know to be true, I know that. You rescued me. You rescued me because of what you did. Set me free.”
“And you set me free.”
She had a strange, heavy sensation in her chest and looked toward the dresser. Her wedding bouquet was still there. She went over to it and grabbed hold of one of the flowers, breaking another blossom off. “For Stella,” she said. “You would be proud of him. You would be proud of who he is. And I will take care of him. And love him.”
“I hope you know,” he said, putting his hand over hers, “that what I feel for you isn’t the same. I loved her as a boy. I love you as a man.”
Her heart lifted. “And I hope sometimes as a monster. Because I did quite like the monster.”
“I will be whatever you wish. Your captor. Your protector. Your man. Your monster.”
“You are all those things, I think. There is no pretending. Not with me.”
“Never. And you don’t need to pretend anymore either.”
“No,” she said. And she flung herself into his arms, feeling every big thing she had done since he’d first come into her life. Hungry and happy and filled with a sharp, aching joy that made her vibrate. She wanted to lick him and fight him and kiss him all at once, and she would. She would.
“Me, I love you. And that is quite a brilliant thing.”
He cupped her chin, his eyes touching her soul. “There are no bars, Annick, not now. All I see is you.”
It was true—there were no words for the sort of pain she and Maximus had endured in their lives.
But there was love and joy that transcended language too. That could only be felt and breathed and lived. And they had that.
It made the world beautiful and magical, and bright enough to drown out all the darkness that had come before.
Always.
Forever.